September 2013 - Lisi Harrison

Fake It to the Limit

September 25, 2013 | 15 Comments

Thanks to all of you who joined me in the lounge yesterday. It was a blast!!! I’m sorry about the technical difficulties, but you can watch the webcast here.

We’ve all heard the phrase, fake it ’til you make it. But these master pretenders started after they made it. Or maybe fame gave them the means to become the people they were truly meant to be. It’s impossible to know. If only we had their journals…

5. Snooki from MTV’s Jersey ShoreFrom naughty to hottie.

4. Miley Cyrus

From ah-dore to hard core.

3. Justin Timberlake

From rapper to dapper.

2. Heidi Montag of MTV’s Laguna Beach

From girl-next-door to door-knockers.

1. Lady Gaga, queen of pretending

From …

It’s Time We Had “The Talk”

September 18, 2013 | 85 Comments

Hey, do you have a second? …It’s nothing major, just that, you know, we’ve been hanging out for like, 10 years now and… while I think this weekly Blah-g thing is great, it’s starting to feel a little, I dunno, been-there-done-that… No, I’m not trying to end things. Actually, it’s the opposite. I was hoping we could have a real chat, like where I see your face and you see mine. Eyes blinking, mouths moving. Just us being us in real eastern / pacific standard time.

What do you say? Can we at least try it once and see how it goes?

Shhhhhh. Don’t speak. I’ll leave you with the details and you can think about it. But don’t think …

Humble-Blah-gging

September 11, 2013 | 23 Comments

Humble Bragging = Bragging about yourself while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example: I wrote the first two Clique books while working at MTV but when Best Friends for Never debuted at #7 on the New York Times Bestseller list I was forced to quit and write full time. Suddenly life became very lonely. It was awful.

Humble Blah-gging = Blah-gging about your new series while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example:

Wow! I am seriously spacey. I didn’t even realize I was holding the pens that promote my highly anticipated new series, Pretenders. Someone had to point it out to me. I must be losing my mind. Medic!

You know me. It’s …

#WeArePretenders

September 5, 2013 | 10 Comments

I, Lisi Harrison, am a Pretender. I have ventured beyond my limitations in a playful way. I have spray tanned, batted false eyelashes, dyed my hair, worn a water bra, and jammed my gut into SPANX! I’ve performed live concerts for invisible crowds and faked my period to get out of swim class. I’ve said it’s not him, it’s me when it was him and I’ve used a fake I.D. to vote. I’ve even claimed to use a fake I.D. to vote when it was really to rent a vehicle. I mean a bike. I mean… fine, I tried alcohol before I was 21. Kidding. It was to vote.

Aside from making up characters, dialogue and stories for a living, …

New Year’s Leave

September 4, 2013 | 6 Comments

It’s the Jewish New Year and I am late for dinner. Oy! Not a very good start if you ask me. I have a half-written blah-g saved as a draft, which I will finish the minute I get into the office tomorrow. I promise. It’s full of confessions and one big embarrassing secret about me. And no, the secret isn’t that I dropped the blah-g ball today. That’s not a secret. You already know that.

Shoot. Gotta run.

Shalom out.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Lisi

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