Uncategorized Archives - Lisi Harrison

July 21, 2022

Awkward Stuff: Story of My Life.

Hello Friends and Stalkers,

I come to you today with a spoiler. Sort of. Awkward Stuff, the third book in my Girl Stuff series, comes out Tuesday (7.26), and if you find first-kiss-pacts-gone-horribly-wrong even mildly entertaining, this is the one for you!!

I’m not about to summarize the plot. Plot summarizing is right up there with conversations that begin with, “I had the craziest dream last night.” Suh-noooozer.

What I am going to do is leak the dedication in Awkward Stuff because it sums up the comedy of errors that is my life.

First: Allow me to present the dedication in Crush Stuff, the book that came before Awkward Stuff.

For my crush, …

June 29, 2022

What Is Your Crush Language?

Hello friends and potential stalkers,

School is out and the sweet smell of SPF is in the air. This means two things:

Some people will not get sunburned.
Summer crush season is AWN!!!

In The Pack, Sadie Samson’s crush on Beak is instant. The moment her inner lion picks up his scent in the woods, she knows he’s the one.

“It was an inviting smell. Sensitive and smart, friendly but serious. It was like a grape scented eraser.”

And Sadie hadn’t even seen him yet!!! (#Pheromones)

When she spots Beak’s sun-bleached hair, ketchup-colored lips, and the c-shaped scar on his cheek–BAM! Sadie feels her attraction.

“He made her insides feel bubbly and animated, like the mist that …

June 20, 2018

Life’s A Glitch.

Back in early 2017, Ryan, my trainer, had just proposed to his girlfriend and wanted a nice place to throw the engagement party.

“I know the wedding planner at the Montage,” I told him. “I’ll hook you up!” So what if his budget was tight. Jules Valentine was a hopeless romantic. She’d make it work.

Needless to say, Ryan was thrilled and stretched me for an extra long time that day.

After our session, I searched for Jules’ number on my phone and was shocked when I couldn’t find it. Seconds later, that shock cooled and hardened into terror. Because I had just realized that Jules Valentine was not my friend. She wasn’t even alive. She was a character in …

March 1, 2018

Boobs, Bucks, and Cigarette Butts: What I learned from a 1970s magazine.

This morning, while trying to procrastinate, I perused the magazines I used to research the flashback scenes in The Dirty Book Club. And, wow! Same game, different rules. Some better, others not so much…

1) Swimsuit models didn’t buy boobs. Flat was where it was at and that’s much sexier if you ask me. I am wondering what that pepperoni-shaped object is on her chest, though. If only sunscreen had a stronger presence in the 70s.

2) $1 was taken seriously. The value of books was not.

3) That $1 had more “nutrition” than everything in this picture combined.

4) Photos weren’t shopped. Model’s faces moved when they smiled. Pores and facial elasticity were socially acceptable.

5) This cigarette ad …

February 14, 2018

Cupid Is As Cupid Does.

It’s Valentine’s Day. Romance is in the air. Consider yourself warned.

Romance, like tequila, often brings out the stupid in us. We become impulsive, idealistic, and short-sighted under its intoxicating spell. So if you want to avoid the painful hangover reality often brings and enjoy the warm buzz of romance for years to come, keep the following five things in mind.

1 Know the difference between love and infatuation. Love feels safe, peaceful, and kind. Infatuation feels like insecurity, obsession, and a panic attack at 35,000 feet.

2 Handle your own finances. Never give that power to your partner. If you are a stay-at-home parent and don’t earn an income make sure you have access to the accounts and …

January 18, 2018

Tech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.

Should we ever find ourselves at the same dinner party, wine and conversation flowing, you will inevitably hear me ask, “Is anyone worried that one of our enemies will hack into our power grid and turn off our electricity? I am. And if it happens we will be cave people because we are helpless without our devices!”

Every time I bring this up (ah-lot!) I expect an emotionally charged consensus. After all, the fact that we are WAY too dependent on technology is impossible to dispute. And since technology is WAY too dependent on electricity and electricity goes out, we’re sitting ducks. But no one bites. Instead, guests start clearing dishes and bathroom lines form. My guess is …

January 10, 2018

Phantom of the Oprah.

During last Sunday’s Golden Globes, Oprah told millions that, “Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.” Memes, reposts and Reese fans agreed. So did I. Until I didn’t.

Oprah’s declaration haunted me well into Tuesday. Not because it was so spot on, but because it felt off. Sure if speaking one’s truth means owning your true nature and living without shame, I’m all for it.

But isn’t that living a truth?

Speaking one’s truth means articulating what is true for you. And that’s not always appropriate. If I spoke my truth all the time the “powerful tool” I’d get would be a tire iron to the skull.

When it comes to truth-speaking, the real tool is …

December 27, 2017

Writing Under the Influence

There are two things that some authors do–and do well–that have always eluded me.

They write under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
They write without an outline or plan.

In all my fifteen years of authoring I have never done either. Until right now. Right now I am doing both. That’s probably why I just used the word “authoring.”

You see, two weeks ago I had knee replacement surgery.

That’s why I haven’t blogged. I thought I’d keep it up from the hospital so I brought my laptop and a Marc Jacobs bag filled with good intentions. This coming from the girl who packs gym clothes on book tour, but never works out. The same girl who …

December 6, 2017

I’m Too Skinny For This Blog.

What I am about to share is my own experience. I’d also bet my life, and my afterlife, that it has been yours too.

Last Saturday night, while blasting the Salt-N-Pepa station on Pandora, I took one last look in the mirror before heading to a party. My hair was the right amount of tousled. My slip dress and satin smoking jacket were on point. My black Vans howled, “whimsical comfort” at the super moon. I was red lipstick ready and eager to Shoop-oop-a-doop.

Upon arrival, I was ushered onto the private deck of a beachside bar. Think bungalow’s, bartenders, a decadent spread of food, and hilarious friends. And yet, the following thoughts tsunami’ed into my brain:

So and So’s …

November 22, 2017

No Thanks, Thanksgiving.

If Thanksgiving is a judge, I am requesting permission to approach the bench. Maybe I’ll be held in contempt or maybe a new precedent will be formed. In this mock trial you, my dear reader, are all twelve jurors. You decide.

My proposal? I would like the American people to add a dash of No Thanks to Thanksgiving 2017 by saying nay to five toxic behaviors. If you do, I guarantee you will have five more things to be grateful for.

The NO THANKS Thanksgiving List.

I happen to know that there is someone in your life that doesn’t make you feel good. They have you believing you’re not good enough. That if you were only (insert) they would treat

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