Cupid Rhymes With…

I’d like to begin today’s Blah-g with a poem…

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Is it me?
Or does Valentine’s Day suck?

If you are one of the few people who enjoy this Hallmark holiday, forgive me. It’s just that I don’t like being told how to feel or when to feel it. My stubborn heart has nothing to do with the fact that February 14th marks the anniversary of the day I got dumped, disappointed, stood-up, bored, food poisoned, acne infested, dateless, depressed …forget it. I won’t saddle you with my sob stories. I will say that every other day of the year except when there’s a full moon or I’m PMSing I sweat glitter and sneeze love. I just don’t perform well under pressure unless it’s deadline related.  I am not a fan of any holiday that expects me to behave a certain way. Don’t tell me to have fun on New Year’s Eve. Don’t pinch me if I wear black on St. Patrick’s Day. And please, don’t hate me if I’m not bootiful on Halloween.

But that’s just me. There are many ways to feel about VD Valentine’s Day and so, with the help of my office elf cupid, I have lifted some cool things from other websites gathered some spirit enhancers to help get you in the mood… whatever that may be.

#1) –FOR LOVERS: What Would Cupid Do?

Listen to love songs. Here’s Little Mix’s Valentine’s Day playlist.

[spotify id=”spotify:user:seventeenmag:playlist:11aS5OaGvTBiqMZT9HO2fh” width=”300″ height=”380″ /]

Give your Valentine cheesy love notes.

TSwift

type

Font

Gift your love cute and personal keepsakes.

Be Cheesy

Read YA fiction. Here’s a list for when you are in love and excited for Valentine’s Day.

Wear these.

kiss me socks

#2–FOR HOPEFULS-Hey Cupid, there’s still time. Work your magic or I will hunt you down.

Watch the Royal Tenenbaums.

margot

Hang  a “Hey Girl” Ryan Gosling poster on your wall, for manifestation purposes. 

Ryan Gosling Crush Poster

Invest in love necklaces and save them for that special someone. (He’d have to be pretty special to wear this.)

Say yes to necklace sets with your BFF.

Eat candy that reminds you to stop kissing frogs.

No More Kissing Frogs Candy

No More Kissing Frogs Candy

#3– FOR DARK HEARTS- Cupid Wears a Diaper and it Smells Like Heartache.

Listen to anti-love songs. Here’s an inspiring playlist below.

[spotify id=”spotify:user:huffpostworkouts:playlist:47nY8zmBJ9g1uC9OBhhEjQ” width=”300″ height=”380″ /]

Give your single friends (or your single self) awkward or inappropriate Valentine’s day cards.

SAD    ex tool

YA fiction to read when you think love stinks.

Use this.

Break-Up Kit

Break-Up Kit

Wear this.

anti-valentine's day candy heart sweatshirt

And these.

Down with V-DayYou’re welcome.

I love you all!!! Happy Valentine’s Day! See how nice I can be when no one is telling me what to do?

TTYW,
Lisi

8 Comments

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  • sorry says:

    YOU STOP READING YOU WILL DIE TONIGHT. Hi im Mike. Im 11 years old but im dead now, I had no friends… If you do not post this to 20 pictures you will die tonight at exactly 11:59pm. DONT BELIEVE ME? A guy named Jake read this and laughed later that night I took a knife out of his kitchen and stabbed him to death. You dont wanna be Jake do you? A girl named Sandra read this and only posted it to 10 pictures SILLY GIRL SHES ONLY 11 BUT OH WELL. That day she saw me and ran to her grandmas house…She asked her could she use the bathroom… but guess what I was already there Shes now in a coma. A smart guy named Phill read this and posted it to 20 pictures because he was scared… The next morning he won the lottery And his Girlfriend accepted his marrige. 0 pictures-Death 10 pics- Coma 20-Pics somthing good will happen. TIC TOC

  • Kathy says:

    Haha, a few of my girlfriends and I are having a girls’ night in!!
    So that instead of sitting at home all alone eating food and being depressed, we’ll be doing that together 😛

    Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

  • Laila N says:

    I find this whole post so amusing, so now I’m confused. I want to do everything 😛

  • Lydia says:

    Smh, Lisi. I like Little Mix! Don’t hate cause you can’t relate.

  • I agree. Unfortunately I fall under the ‘love stinks’ due to my best guy friend (whom I have a crush on) is heartbroken bu my best friend dating someone else, and he can’t take a hint and I don’t want to ruin our friendship when hes not interested. Lisi, please help me! I don’t want to have to watch this in pain while he complains to me every single time that hes in pain over heartbreak.
    Love you and your advice and need an extra dosage,
    Kerry

  • ♥Melody♥ says:

    Lol. I consider myself all of the above!

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