Lisi, you always have the best advice… so what should I do? I really like this guy at my school (he’s a year older thank gawd) but he’s not into good stuff. I’ve heard tons of bad things about him from everyone who knows him (like he use to be a dealer (maybe still is), is obsessive when he likes a girl, pretty much goes to raves every night, and other things). I don’t want to judge him because of what other people have said, because when we’ve talked he’s been so nice, sweet, and funny. I’ve been trying to stop liking him but I can’t. What should I do??

Oh, Mikaelya. Sweet, sweet Mikaelya. You’ve already made your first mistake. Trying NOT to like someone is as effective as trying not to dream. It’s out of our control, we all know that. Accept that the heart wants what the heart wants, even when the brain has a a major problem with it, and move on.

If there is some truth to the rumors you want to be careful. So here’s what I suggest. Make a list of values that are important to you (Honesty, safety, trust, self-esteem, not breaking the law…) Add some qualities you want from BadBoy (Respect, good judgement, no tartar…) Then ways you want BadBoy to make you feel (Safe, appreciated, heard, goddess…).

After each BadBoy encounter check your list. If being with him has made you stray from anything on it, draw an X through that item and then draw a bigger X across his “obsessive” face. Because he’s done. D-z-u-n, DZUN!

If, however, you are able to hang out with him, without sacrificing who you are or what you believe in, treat yourself to a box of glowsticks and Google “nearest rave”.

Same goes for all of you crush-puppies. Know what you want and don’t compromise. It takes courage and confidence. If you don’t know how to get courage or confidence I’d be happy to tell you… Just begin your comment with, “Lisi, you always give the best advice…” and check back here next Wednesday.

TTYW,

Lisi

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