Click to enlarge photo.

Can you zoom that blue box on the right? It’s a note from Erin, my editor. She is telling me to stop making so many “barf” references. She thinks there are too many in the book. She suggested I have Duffy feel “dizzy” instead. I agreed and made the change. I typed “dizzy” and (here’s the freaky part) I began to feel dizzy. I typed “sweaty” and began to sweat. I re-read the barfing moment and I swear I began to dry heave.
I started to panic.
Twenty-Five Things You don’t Know About Me.
1 through 25: I HATE PUKING.
I get it, no one likes it. But it is one of my biggest fears EVER! I’d rather be trapped in a crowded elevator and have violent diarrhea than puke in privacy. Also, I have never puked in a toilet. I can’t possibly see how sticking my head in a contaminated bowl is supposed to make me feel better. Plastic bags or trash cans only. So trash can it was.
I was crying, sweating, and dying alone. I wanted to text Kevy my life-crush but I couldn’t move. Eventually I managed.
I typed:
Puking.
(No response)
Come.
(Nothing.)
Now.
(Nope.)
I reach out to Siri. Thank gawd someone was there for me.

Ca-lling Ke-vy Harrison.
He answered on the first ring, “Hey, babe!”
I couldn’t help wondering how someone could be that close to his phone and not notice the texts. But I was too weak to fight.
“Puking. Hurry.”
He walked into my office five minutes later, laughed, and said, “Holy sH!# you look bad.”
Again, too weak to fight.
I think we rode home in our golf cart. I don’t remember.
I called the restaurant today to tell them about their evil food. They offered me a free yogurt. I invited them to join me in a crowded elevator.
Off to do my taxes now. Jealous?

TTYW,
Lisi

P.S. Thank you for the positive feedback on the new site. I know some of you miss the old one so to help you acclimate we are working to bring back the old background, or at least get a familiar color scheme going. Let me know if that helps once it’s installed.

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