I took to the streets of Laguna Beach and in the least creepy way possible asked four surfer/skater dudes ranging in ages from 14-16 to reveal the meaning behind a few different actions. The results might surprise you. Read the final data below:

The Study Participants 

GUY #1 – Anthony – 16 years-old

GUY #2 – Zak – 14 years-old

GUY #3 – Garrett – 16 years-old

GUY #4 – Brian – 15 years-old 

The Guy Behavior 

1) Not returning a text (after a significant period of time)

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“If I stopped returning a girl’s texts she was either texting me too much or maybe I got distracted by something else and forgot.”

[other guys nod their heads]

Me: “But when you weren’t busy or distracted anymore, wouldn’t you remember the girl you were texting and get back to her?”

GUY #3 – Garrett-

“Not if I wasn’t fully interested in the conversation or getting to know her more. Sometimes you can tell if you’d get along with a girl just by how you text with her.”

GUY #4 – Brian –

“If I don’t really like a girl, I’ll just stop texting and she will eventually get the hint. We don’t know each other well enough to have a whole talk about why we’re not talkling anymore. She’ll just get the hint.”

[other guys nod their heads]

GUY #2 – Zak –

“Sometimes I just don’t know what to say to keep the texting interesting and I figure stop when you’re ahead so you don’t look stupid.”

2) Acting interested in a girl one week and then not the next

GUY #2 – Zak –

“This one is totally me. I get over girls so quickly. But it’s not their fault or anything, I just don’t want a girlfriend but it’s still fun to get attention from girls.”

GUY #3 – Garrett-

“Yeah, I’d say I probably was interested in the girl but then got to know her better and realized we didn’t have enough in common or didn’t have anything to talk about.”

GUY #4 – Brian –

“I think this one usually means the guy has other options and is spreading his attention over several different prospects. It’s hard to keep it straight.”

[other guys nod their heads]

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“What’s so bad about being into a girl one week and then not the next?”

3) Flirting with a girl but not ask her out

GUY #3 – Garrett –

“I like to feel out the situation with a girl and see how into me she is. I don’t want to ask her out if there’s a huge change she will reject me. Flirting is also just fun. It doesn’t have to mean anything though.”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“Well, pride.”

Me: “Can you explain?”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“Yeah, if I’m going to ask a girl out I would want to do it right and take her somewhere decent. I don’t make enough money to do that.”

Me: “What if the girl doesn’t care what the date looks like or how much money you have?”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“I care. I don’t want to go on dates until I have a job and a car.”

GUY #2 – Zak –

“There’s no way I could go on dates with every girl I flirt with. I flirt with so many. Like what Garrett said, it doesn’t mean too much.”

GUY #4 – Brian –

[shrugs] “I hardly flirt with anyone. I really don’t find many girls at school hot but when I do flirt it probably means I want to ask you out.”

Me: “Ask ME out?”

[Garrett, Zak, and Anthony laugh]

GUY #4 – Brian –

[blushing] “No! ‘You’ as in the girl I’m flirting with… I don’t know. I don’t flirt much.”

4) Asking a girl to watch a movie in

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“This definitely means I want to make out with the girl. Or at least try. It’s the easiest place to try.”

[the other guys agree in unison]

5) Taking a girl you’re into on a date and then never calling her afterwards 

GUY #3 – Garrett –

“This one’s easy. He probably just wasn’t super into her after the date ended. Or maybe he was dating a bunch of girls at once and not wanting to stick around very long with any one of them.”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“I’d say he probably was kinda into her but wasn’t 100% positive he liked her so maybe he’d call her in the future just to make sure either way.”

Me: “What if you called the girl a few weeks later and hang out again, but then you never call her after that.”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“OK, then I just probably wasn’t all that into it after all. Got my answer.”

GUY #4 – Brian –

“Dude, that’s harsh.”

GUY #1 – Anthony –

“Well? It’s the truth. Sometimes you’re not into it.”

GUY #4 – Brian –

“Fair.”

GUY #2 – Zak –

“Yeah, I’d have to agree. If a guy is really into a girl he’s going to call or flirt or make it obvious he’s into her. You wouldn’t want her to get taken off the market by some douche before you had a chance to ask her out.”

Me: “So, you wouldn’t wait a few weeks to hang out again after going on a date with a girl you were really into?”

GUY #2 – Zak –

“I don’t really date, but I mean, no I wouldn’t make her wait a few weeks. Maybe a week so I don’t seem too eager. I wouldn’t want to lose my chance with her though.”

—-

Straight from the mouths of the more basic sex, ladies. Send all your questions, guy related or not, my way. They might show up on one of the weekly blah-g posts.

TTYW,

Lisi

The post Guy Basics appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

I’ve received a number of comments and messages from readers having trouble in the crush department. So today I’m addressing Lily in hopes it will shed some light on a few of the situations I’ve read in your questions.

Here’s what Lily said:

Hi Lisi!! ur advice helped me a lot!! from ur guy advice to having a better self esteem! love you! i have a problem tho… i like this guy who i guess i talk to sometimes. but he tells me he doesn’t like anyone, so im afraid that i cant ‘catch his attention’! we’ve ‘bantered’ and people constantly say we’d b a good couple but i dont know how to get him to like me! I’m too shy to step up and ask him too.

Lily, first, my heart goes out to you. It’s not easy waiting around on a crush to make his move. I will cut to the chase–he may not make it. At least not right now. I’ve alluded before to the simplicity of the male brain and how it’s almost like a mini vacation writing from the POV of Duffy and Jagger in my Pretenders series. That might be a little harsh, but boys are certainly more straightforward in their thinking than we are. While us girls are layered in complex thoughts and emotions happening simultaneously, guys home in on a singular goal, whether that’s making the basketball team, doing well in school, figuring out how to solve a problem–you get the idea. I’m not saying one way is better than the other; the approaches are just different. You might be thinking that when your crush said he doesn’t like anyone he was fibbing a bit and it’s only be a matter of time before he confesses who he has feelings for (hopefully you!). But there’s a very good chance when he said he doesn’t have eyes for anyone in particular right now, he meant it. Don’t waste too much time trying to analyze everything else around the situation. If a guy likes you, he will be sure to let you know it. Again, his focus will be entirely on you as you are now the target prize.

For now, his attention might be on his grades or his friends and that’s perfectly fine. My advice is to keep bantering in a lighthearted way when you do see each other. Be his friend. Develop a connection slowly, but without expectation for an end result. I know that’s difficult, but give it a try. If something transpires in the future–great. If not, journal about it. Get all of your complex, simultaneous thoughts and feelings down on the page so you have a safe place to vent. In the meantime, don’t tie yourself down to the belief that your current crush is the only boy available to you. Keep living your life and having fun with your friends, but keep your eyes open. If your gaze is fixated on the one boy who isn’t coming your way, you might miss the cute, exciting guy who’s been interested in you all along. You’re bound to find him.

Hope that helps.

TTYW,

Lisi

The post Boy Bound appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

Lisi, you always have the best advice… so what should I do? I really like this guy at my school (he’s a year older thank gawd) but he’s not into good stuff. I’ve heard tons of bad things about him from everyone who knows him (like he use to be a dealer (maybe still is), is obsessive when he likes a girl, pretty much goes to raves every night, and other things). I don’t want to judge him because of what other people have said, because when we’ve talked he’s been so nice, sweet, and funny. I’ve been trying to stop liking him but I can’t. What should I do??

Oh, Mikaelya. Sweet, sweet Mikaelya. You’ve already made your first mistake. Trying NOT to like someone is as effective as trying not to dream. It’s out of our control, we all know that. Accept that the heart wants what the heart wants, even when the brain has a a major problem with it, and move on.

If there is some truth to the rumors you want to be careful. So here’s what I suggest. Make a list of values that are important to you (Honesty, safety, trust, self-esteem, not breaking the law…) Add some qualities you want from BadBoy (Respect, good judgement, no tartar…) Then ways you want BadBoy to make you feel (Safe, appreciated, heard, goddess…).

After each BadBoy encounter check your list. If being with him has made you stray from anything on it, draw an X through that item and then draw a bigger X across his “obsessive” face. Because he’s done. D-z-u-n, DZUN!

If, however, you are able to hang out with him, without sacrificing who you are or what you believe in, treat yourself to a box of glowsticks and Google “nearest rave”.

Same goes for all of you crush-puppies. Know what you want and don’t compromise. It takes courage and confidence. If you don’t know how to get courage or confidence I’d be happy to tell you… Just begin your comment with, “Lisi, you always give the best advice…” and check back here next Wednesday.

TTYW,

Lisi

The post How Good Girls Can Date Bad Boys appeared first on Lisi Harrison.