There’s no I in ESTEEM.

Lisi Harrison — Wed, 08 May 2013 17:52:54 +0000

My brain is so full of blah-g ideas my eyes are swelling. And yet I’m having a sticky writing day. So instead of giving you something clunky and gooey I’m going to keep this one simple. It’s a technique I made-up (there I go citing myself again) that helps with low self-esteem. I’ll use body issues as my example because this is something most of us can relate to, but you can do it with anything.

Okay let’s begin:

Close your eyes (after you read this) and imagine yourself on a beautiful beach. You are wearing a bikini and you are tanned. You feel good enough to enjoy the day and not stress about your looks. You’re having fun.

Then you see HER. Some girl, roughly your age, with an ah-mazing body, ah-mazing tan, and ah-mazing bikini. She looks relaxed and happy. Why wouldn’t she? Her life must be perfect. She is a shiny pin and you are a beach ball. All you have to do is see her and pop! There goes your air. Suddenly, you’re full of self-loathing because you don’t look like her. Your good mood is ruined.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” While that makes logical sense, it’s not going to make us feel better. If anything, quotes like these make us feel worse because we know they’re true and yet we still feel like deflated beach balls. People who seem better than us crush our egos not because we are giving them our consent but because we are comparing ourselves to them. We say, “Why don’t I look like that?” or “What is she doing that I’m not?” or “Why does she have more discipline than I do?” “What’s wrong with ME?”

These thoughts manifest into real physical feelings. I’m serious. Close your eyes (after you read this) and picture yourself in this situation. Can you feel that stomach churn? The heaviness inside your chest? The slight vertigo? It feels like the flu.

Now, imagine this…

Then you see HER. Some girl, roughly your age, with an ah-mazing body, ah-mazing tan, and ah-mazing bikini. She looks relaxed and happy. STOP! Now say to yourself, “She looks beautiful.” STOP!

How does that feel inside your body? Different, right? It feels light, happy, full of love. Because you’re admiring (a positive feeling) instead of comparing (neggy feeling). Her beauty is no reflection on you. It just is. END OF STORY.

Now go admire someone and keep your eyes open in case someone happens to be admiring you.

TTYW,

Lisi

The post There’s no I in ESTEEM. appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

happiness Archives - Lisi Harrison

There’s no I in ESTEEM.