Sheridan Spencer Archives - Lisi Harrison

Swift Recovery

Lisi Harrison — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 01:23:49 +0000

Dear Lisi,

You always give the best advice. I’m in 9th grade and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a month now, which is the longest relationship both of us have been in. For the last two weeks I’ve made him my #MCM but he still hasn’t made me his #WCW. The last #WCW he posted was a random model he likes, but shouldn’t he be posting about me by now? It makes me think he isn’t nearly as into this relationship as I am. What’s his deal?

xx Larissa

Larissa,

Let’s take a cue from Sheridan Spencer–a very insecure actress in my novel, Pretenders. When she needs guidance, Sheridan channels a celebrity. The idea is, if she acts like them she will become like them, and her troubles will melt away. The thing is, there are many different ways to handle your issue. You can put yourself out there and tell him how you feel. You can play games that–if played well–will show him how you feel. Or you can be cool and act like you don’t care one way or the other. So who’s a girl to channel? What single person can help you play out all three of these possibilities?

The problem is which Taylor should you be?

YOU COULD BECOME TAYLOR ONE: “You Belong To Me”

You feel slighted, insulted, and dissed. Your feelings are hurt and you’re not one to play games. You tell him exactly how you feel. If he loves you he’ll realize what he’s done, and a 3D collage of you will put his sad little #WCW of said model to shame. If he doesn’t love you, he will once he realizes how open you are about your feelings.

YOU COULD BECOME TAYLOR TWO: “We Are Never Getting Back Together”

Are you seriously going to put up with that? Gawd, I hope not. So what’s the plan? You can’t do something predictable like replace his pic with a model’s. No, you’re going to #MakeHimSuffer. You’re going to #TeachHimALesson. You’re going to #MakeoutWithHisBestfriendRightInFrontOfHim. And then you’re going to #PostThat!

Not only will it teach him not to mess with you, it will teach the world not to mess with you either. Two birds, one stone. #Done.

OR YOU COULD BECOME TAYLOR THREE: “Shake It Off”

This Taylor would start by knowing her audience–a teenaged dude. Did you see the movie Grease? Did you see how Danny acted in front of Sandy when his buddies were around? Like he didn’t even know her. Why? Because he’s terrified of being made fun of by his bros. Immature as it may seem, guys are supposed to act tough. Sex is the ultimate; love is for wuss-bags. Does he believe this? No. Does he mean it when he tells you how much he likes you? Yes. Does he know he’s going to be berated if he IG’s about his crush? YES! But a hot model is safe. It shows his bros that he’s not wearing his heart on his sleeve (Get it, heart-on?) He’s just being a dude. If that’s the worst thing he does, let him get away with it. It means he’s acting his age. Accept it. He’s just channeling a typical teenaged boy.

If he’s mean to you, disrespectful, rude, or anything else that makes you question his true feelings, skip over Taylor one and become Taylor two. In the meantime, you could stop following him and stick to life in the third dimension. That’s where the real magic happens.

TTYW,

Lisi

PS. Because hash tagging is my style, my #WCW for the week is the first person to comment this post. Expect a shout out.

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SO YOU THINK YOU CAN ACT…

Lisi Harrison — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 00:05:05 +0000

I had an interesting request in my Facebook inbox yesterday, one nobody in their right mind would pass up. Julia from Brazil asked if I would be a part of her large-scale scavenger hunt. How large scale? She explains it like this:

“This year I’ve joined G.S.H.W.H.E.S., which stands for The Greatest Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen. And the reason I’m here writing you this is because my team really needs your help. One of the tasks is to get a NYT best-selling author to read the “California Driver Handbook – Laws and Rules of the Road” dramatically in a video. It doesn’t have to be the entire text, just a section. We would be eternally grateful (!!) I really hope you can help us, if not, you’ll still be one of my favorite authors. Thank you for your time. – Julia”

You all know by now I’ll do anything for my fans. Press play on the first recording and then click on the video of my dramatic reading below.

http://lisiharrison.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20140806-132702.mp4

[wpvideo E3SiZBVY]

I hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!!!

Have a weird request for me? Send it to me Facebook inbox along with your #wearepretenders confessions. I’m loving what you’ve submitted so far.

TTYW,

Lisi

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Boobs and Bathingsuits

Lisi Harrison — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 18:29:46 +0000

Hello there. I was hoping that title would get your attention.

Okay fine, I’ll own it. I dropped the Blah-g yesterday. I’m sorry. But I happened to be inside this theater attending an ah-mazing concert and I didn’t have time to post.

If you don’t know this band of three badass and extremely talented sisters, make it your business to get to know them. Not at this exact second, but the moment you finish reading this.

The other thing that consumed me yesterday was my research for The Dirty Book Club. The novel is set in present-day California, but there are a lot of flashbacks. The one I am working on now takes place in 1973 so I ordered a bunch of archived magazines from that time so I could get a feel for pop culture and fashion during that era.

This is what I learned…

1) Swimsuit models didn’t have to spend their salaries on boobs. Flat was where it was at. Much sexier if you ask me.

2) One dollar went a long way. SPOILER ALERT: Sheridan Spencer reads How To Be Your Own Best Friend in Pretenders 2: License To Spill (June 2014). See it down there?

3) Jell-O mold = “Nutrition.”

4) Photos weren’t shopped. Models had facial movement when they smiled and their skin tones weren’t even. The horror!

5) This cigarette ad is my favorite. Not only does it look like that guy is once inch away from setting his shag rug on fire, and not only do the tracks on his corduroy pants look like they have been raked in a Zen garden, but there is something in this photo that defies all logic. Can you figure out what it is?

Try. Really try. But if you are too impatient because you want to go and download Haim ,check the bottom of this blog for the answer.

TTYW,

Lisi

(Their cigarettes are lit but no smoke. Man, the ’70s were a magical time.)

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