You always give the best advice. I’m in 9th grade and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a month now, which is the longest relationship both of us have been in. For the last two weeks I’ve made him my #MCM but he still hasn’t made me his #WCW. The last #WCW he posted was a random model he likes, but shouldn’t he be posting about me by now? It makes me think he isn’t nearly as into this relationship as I am. What’s his deal? 

xx Larissa 

Larissa,

Let’s take a cue from Sheridan Spencer–a very insecure actress in my novel, Pretenders. When she needs guidance, Sheridan channels a celebrity. The idea is, if she acts like them she will become like them, and her troubles will melt away. The thing is, there are many different ways to handle your issue. You can put yourself out there and tell him how you feel. You can play games that–if played well–will show him how you feel. Or you can be cool and act like you don’t care one way or the other. So who’s a girl to channel? What single person can help you play out all three of these possibilities?

The post Swift Recovery appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

“There’s a lid for every pot out there.”

“It happens when you’re least expecting it.”

“It’s when you’re not looking that you’ll find him.”

“Your Prince Charming will come.” 

Single ladies across the Internet are outraged over a twitter exchange between Taylor Swift and newly engaged Lady Gaga. Here’s what went down:

   Some are saying how sweet Lady Gaga was, but most think that if her words were boots they’d be SMUGG BOOTS. (Forgive me, Father. It’s been hours since my last pun.) Personally, I think…actually I don’t think that much about it at all. And I don’t think Lady did either. My guess is that she expressed her appreciation in 140 characters then moved on to the ten billion other things on her I Do List. But the debate does bring up a good point. The idea that a girl’s life is not complete until she meets her Prince Charming is a royal bunch of b.s. After years of marriage most of them end up looking like frogs.  

Wanting to become someone’s other half, simply for the sake of it is insane. It’s also frighteningly accurate because many women complain about “losing themselves” over the course of their relationships. If you ask me, the single ones–the girls who are holding onto themselves instead of holding out for someone else–should be dolling out advice to those coupling up. “Hang in there. You won’t always have to compromise. He’ll go out of town eventually. You can make your own choices then.” Or “Girls Night Out will be more meaningful when it happens once a month as opposed to every weekend.” And “There’s nothing like sharing a bed with a snorer to remind you you’re not alone.”  

Old school Bynes never lets me down.

TTYW,

Lisi                        

The post SMUGG BOOTS appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

I will try to get to all of your questions eventually, especially if you start them with Lisi, you give the best advice…, but this week my crushed heart goes out to Biebs Girl.

Lisi, you give the best advice… What do you think about dating someone who’s younger than you and way shorter? This really sweet guy is a Freshman and he told me he had a crush on me. I’m a Junior and my friends always say it’d be soooo wrong to even think about it. But I am. I’m about 5″4 and I’m pretty sure he’s like 5’4 or maybe slightly taller or shorter. Its just kinda awk how he’s a height close to mine. What do you think?

If I forgot what it was like to be in high school I’d say something not-at-all helpful like, “Who cares what your friends think. If he’s a good guy and you like each other that’s all that should matter.” Technically, that’s true but it sucks as advice because when you’re in high school friends’ opinions do matter. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just saying I accept it because if I didn’t I’d be feeding you that crap line and wondering why it didn’t help.

First order of business: My guess is these friends of yours are single or unhappy. If they were happy in relationships of their own they wouldn’t care who you liked as long as you were happy too. Know that. Don’t ever forget it. EVER! Some friends can be very supportive as long as they’re happy. When they’re not, many have a fear of being left behind and they will do and say whatever it takes to keep you from moving on without them.

Next: Do you really like this guy? Does he make you smile out loud? If so, Massie Block has a question for you:

Would you rather hang with an awesome guy your friends don’t think is tall enough to ride the roller coaster OR miss out on what could be a great time to keep your friends from yapping behind your back?

It takes courage to do things your friends don’t approve of. If you don’t find that courage now ,you’ll have to find it eventually because you won’t always agree on everything. And at some point in your life that’s going to have to be okay or you will have no clue who you are and you certainly won’t be happy.

Assuming you find the courage to live life for yourself and not your friends (it’s hard at your age, I get it) then it’s all how you spin it. Instead of acting all unsure and insecure show them how much fun dating a young same-sized guy can be. Put on your advertising hat and sell it. Start by telling them they are judging him based on the year his parents had sex. Gross, I know, but that’s really what it comes down to. It’s called ageism. No different than judging someone based on the color of their skin or the god they pray to.

Next, think of all the celeb couples who rocked that trend. Demi and Ashton, anyone? Fine, it didn’t end well but they had a great run. My husband is two years younger than me. My friend Noel married an ah-mazing guy who is six years younger than her. We live in a culture that worships youth. Make that work for you, sister. Be a Junior-cougar. Start a Junior Cougar Club. Junior girls who proudly date younger guys. Make it trend. Own it.#Juniorcougar

Find out if he has any friends that are interested in one of your friends. A double date perhaps? Maybe the young ones will get cheaper prices on movie tickets.

It hard to go against the social norms. Ask anyone who ever made a difference in this world. They’ll tell you.

Keep me posted!

TTYW,

Lisi

So many issues, so few Wednesdays. Keep sending your questions. I’ll answer another one next week.

The post #JuniorCougarClub appeared first on Lisi Harrison.

Lisi, you always have the best advice… so what should I do? I really like this guy at my school (he’s a year older thank gawd) but he’s not into good stuff. I’ve heard tons of bad things about him from everyone who knows him (like he use to be a dealer (maybe still is), is obsessive when he likes a girl, pretty much goes to raves every night, and other things). I don’t want to judge him because of what other people have said, because when we’ve talked he’s been so nice, sweet, and funny. I’ve been trying to stop liking him but I can’t. What should I do??

Oh, Mikaelya. Sweet, sweet Mikaelya. You’ve already made your first mistake. Trying NOT to like someone is as effective as trying not to dream. It’s out of our control, we all know that. Accept that the heart wants what the heart wants, even when the brain has a a major problem with it, and move on.

If there is some truth to the rumors you want to be careful. So here’s what I suggest. Make a list of values that are important to you (Honesty, safety, trust, self-esteem, not breaking the law…) Add some qualities you want from BadBoy (Respect, good judgement, no tartar…) Then ways you want BadBoy to make you feel (Safe, appreciated, heard, goddess…).

After each BadBoy encounter check your list. If being with him has made you stray from anything on it, draw an X through that item and then draw a bigger X across his “obsessive” face. Because he’s done. D-z-u-n, DZUN!

If, however, you are able to hang out with him, without sacrificing who you are or what you believe in, treat yourself to a box of glowsticks and Google “nearest rave”.

Same goes for all of you crush-puppies. Know what you want and don’t compromise. It takes courage and confidence. If you don’t know how to get courage or confidence I’d be happy to tell you… Just begin your comment with, “Lisi, you always give the best advice…” and check back here next Wednesday.

TTYW,

Lisi

The post How Good Girls Can Date Bad Boys appeared first on Lisi Harrison.