#JuniorCougarClub

Am I happy you are all getting crushed by crushes? Of course not. I’m just glad you’re coming to me for advice and not solely relying on your friends. No offense, friends, but you’re just as inexperienced as the one in need. I have decades of heartbreaks to draw from. Enough mean girl dramas to fill a Lifetime Channel. And more sleepless nights than Draculaura.

I will try to get to all of your questions eventually, especially if you start them with Lisi, you give the best advice…, but this week my crushed heart goes out to Biebs Girl.

Lisi, you give the best advice… What do you think about dating someone who’s younger than you and way shorter? This really sweet guy is a Freshman and he told me he had a crush on me. I’m a Junior and my friends always say it’d be soooo wrong to even think about it. But I am. I’m about 5″4 and I’m pretty sure he’s like 5’4 or maybe slightly taller or shorter. Its just kinda awk how he’s a height close to mine. What do you think?

If I forgot what it was like to be in high school I’d say something not-at-all helpful like, “Who cares what your friends think. If he’s a good guy and you like each other that’s all that should matter.” Technically, that’s true but it sucks as advice because when you’re in high school friends’ opinions do matter. I’m not saying it’s right. I’m just saying I accept it because if I didn’t I’d be feeding you that crap line and wondering why it didn’t help.

First order of business: My guess is these friends of yours are single or unhappy. If they were happy in relationships of their own they wouldn’t care who you liked as long as you were happy too. Know that. Don’t ever forget it. EVER! Some friends can be very supportive as long as they’re happy. When they’re not, many have a fear of being left behind and they will do and say whatever it takes to keep you from moving on without them.

Next: Do you really like this guy? Does he make you smile out loud? If so, Massie Block has a question for you:

Would you rather hang with an awesome guy your friends don’t think is tall enough to ride the roller coaster OR miss out on what could be a great time to keep your friends from yapping behind your back?

It takes courage to do things your friends don’t approve of. If you don’t find that courage now ,you’ll have to find it eventually because you won’t always agree on everything. And at some point in your life that’s going to have to be okay or you will have no clue who you are and you certainly won’t be happy.

Assuming you find the courage to live life for yourself and not your friends (it’s hard at your age, I get it) then it’s all how you spin it. Instead of acting all unsure and insecure show them how much fun dating a young same-sized guy can be. Put on your advertising hat and sell it. Start by telling them they are judging him based on the year his parents had sex. Gross, I know, but that’s really what it comes down to. It’s called ageism. No different than judging someone based on the color of their skin or the god they pray to.

Next, think of all the celeb couples who rocked that trend. Demi and Ashton, anyone? Fine, it didn’t end well but they had a great run. My husband is two years younger than me. My friend Noel married an ah-mazing guy who is six years younger than her. We live in a culture that worships youth. Make that work for you, sister. Be a Junior-cougar. Start a Junior Cougar Club. Junior girls who proudly date younger guys. Make it trend. Own it.#Juniorcougar

Find out if he has any friends that are interested in one of your friends. A double date perhaps? Maybe the young ones will get cheaper prices on movie tickets. 🙂

It hard to go against the social norms. Ask anyone who ever made a difference in this world. They’ll tell you.

Keep me posted!

TTYW,

Lisi

So many issues, so few Wednesdays. Keep sending your questions. I’ll answer another one next week.

15 Comments

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  • jhskldjaeitdjfadshgioawejrglksdaj says:

    Lisi, you always give the best advice, I’m leaving a fake email and a fake name because I don’t really need a reply. But anyway, this guy, Derek, has been my friend since 6th grade, I’m now in 8th grade. We started texting… A LOT, and we started liking each other more and more. Then a few weeks ago, Derek started being rude and telling me that I obsess over things to much, when I most certainly do not. He thinks that it’s annoying that I don’t think I’m pretty. Last Friday, he said things weren’t working out anymore BY TEXTING ME. I cried my heart out, and he acted like he didn’t care. So, on Monday, I told him off. I told him that he would never have the guts to tell me that in person, and that he hides behind his phone and acts tough. I also said that he would never ever get a girlfriend ever again. He acted like he didn’t care. But he did. I regret saying what I said, and I feel bad. I don’t think I should say sorry though. I’m lost. I seriously don’t know what I’m doing, and maybe this was a waste of time. I just needed to tell people…

  • Elizabeth says:

    Hey Lisi, i have been a long time fan of the original clique series, is there a possibility those will be turned into movies? luv ya lisi, <3 u!

  • Zula says:

    Oh Lisi! I’ve missed you! And that was really good advice, as per, I especially love #Juniorcougar haha, I wish I could keep things like that heartfelt but still comical like you do!
    On a separate note, my S.W.A.P bracelets arrived! It took a while for UK shipping but so worth it, I’m so happy with them! I got the grey and the pink, at first I thought they were a little small but since I started wearing one I actually think it’s perfect; its subtle but not un-noticable! And I’m constantly playing with the envelope charm, so pretty. I find myself wearing the grey one most at the moment, it goes with more of my outfits, but I think I’ll start wearing the pink more when I get my watch fixed, because it’s gold too.
    I was wondering did you consider getting a rose gold charm made? I’d love a full set 😛
    Have a great week Lisi!
    Zula

  • Lydia says:

    Lisi, you always give the best advice. I recently reconnected with an old friend from my school. I haven’t seen him since the sixth grade. Our friendship is kind of weird: we always joke around. Sometimes it sounds like flirting. I used to have a crush on him that could easily resurface at any time, but my best friend told me that he has a girlfriend now. How can I talk to him without making things awkward?

  • Brenda says:

    Lisi, you always give the best advice. I just got out of an engagement, with a guy who was also my first boyfriend and am completely heart broken and have been physically sick ever since. Any advice on how to get over the heart break?

  • Talia says:

    Yay!! She should totally go for it! People always have opinions anyway, even if she dated someone her age and taller than her. It’s all about confidence! Besides, my boyfriend is 2 years younger than me, and he’s not too much taller than me either. When we’re flirting or kissing or hanging out none of that even matters 🙂

  • Hi Lisi! Not necessarily an advice question but what are you reading right now? Any YA favorites at the moment?

  • Laila N says:

    CHEAPER PRICES ON MOVIE TICKETS.
    GOSH. That was hilarious. That’s priceless. I’m using it someday.
    And once again, your advice is gold 🙂

  • Lydia says:

    Really, Lisi? “Cheaper prices on movie tickets” SMH

  • Fantastic advice! I’m pretty tall for most girls my age (5’8″) and I’ve dated several guys who are about my height, some even a little shorter then me. My friend’s don’t mind as long as the guy is good looking, and their all very sweet and the type of girls who are simply happy for me. Some of them do find it wierd, but once I go after the guy and nail him, they don’t mind. I’d say find a guy who has a great personality, gets along with your friends (that’s a big plus anyway) is mature enough to truly likes you, and it won’t matter if he’s younger or shorter then you.

  • Biebs Girl says:

    Thanks so much!! You’re our fairy/author godmother. <3 I needed that. We've been texting a lot more and I haven't told my friends. I'm just going to try and worry about me. 🙂

  • KastasiaD says:

    Lisi, you always give the best advice. My bf kept dumping me and getting back together like a gazillion times, so I broke up with him. Then one of my best buds asked me out and I said yes. I’ve basically gotten over my ex in less than 48 hours, and I completely love my new bf. But I don’t know if he loves me. Im too afraid to tell him! And is it bad for a girl to get over a breakup that quickly? Puh-lease help. Like, asap!

  • TacoChic says:

    Lisi, guy advice seems to be your thing so I’ll keep the good times rolling with this question. There’s this guy I like (of course) and he’s seriously out of my league. We’ve talked before, but it’s been awkward. He’s always looking at me like he’s waiting for me to say something, but I never can. I just don’t know how to speak legitimate, human words around him. I’ve heard he prefers the girl to make the first move, but I prefer the guy to make the first move. I would be willing to if I knew how, so I guess what I’m trying to say is please teach me to talk to *whispers* the other gender.

  • Love you Lisi! Lisi Harris

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