To know me, even a little, is to know that I detest all things cliche. Cliches are lazy and uninspired. They do not make the world go around (oops, that was a cliche) they make the world yawn. I don’t use them in my novels and I don’t use them when I’m buying gifts. Red roses for Valentine’s Day? Don’t insult me! A tie for Dad on Father’s Day? Only if I want him to cancel my birth certificate. And I will not give Mom a seasonal bouquet and then drag her to prix fix brunch this Sunday. That said, I’m not sure how I’m going to honor Shaila G. this Mother’s Day. The point it, I’m going to put some serious thought into it because our first ideas are rarely the original ones. And while being a mom isn’t original, being MY mom is. So I’m going to make like a booger-loving index finger and dig deep. You might want to do the same.
Here are some of my ideas:
TOP TEN LIST
Write a list of the top ten coolest things mom did for you this year. Remember, think like that booger-loving index finger. Don’t rattle off the obvious things like, you cook great meals or you drive me to soccer practice. Try: You drew a happy face on an orange when I had a fever. You watched my soccer practice on that rainy afternoon even though you just got a fab blowout. Think like a writer and capture the details.
REWRITE THE RULES
I’m going to tell you something real. It might hurt but you need to know. You know what mom really wants? A day to herself. No curfew. No responsibility. No kids! So surprise her by catering to her every need on Saturday and cut her loose on Sunday. Trust me on this. She’ll love it.
BE THE TICKETMASTER
Get her tickets to a play or concert you know she’ll love. Give her the tix on Mother’s Day even though the event isn’t taking place that day. It will give her something to look forward to and will remind her that you want to celebrate her every day. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
FROM PAMPERS TO PAMPERING
She kept your skin supple while you were a wee thing. So pay it forward without the pesky paying part and DIY her a spa day. (Then see the part where I tell you she wants to be alone and scram so she can enjoy it.)
DIY a yoga eye pillow filled with lavender or chamomile for her and give her silence for the day.
* Homemade flavored lip gloss tutorial
* Homemade fizzy bath salts tutorial
* Homemade lavender bath salts tutorial
* Homemade hand and foot cream ingredients
TOTAL ANNIHILATION THEATER
Mom wouldn’t be a mom if she wasn’t nagging you to get rid of something she doesn’t approve of. A crusty old pair of jeans, that orange eyeshadow, a way too mini miniskirt… Sit her down on the couch, give her a bowl of popcorn, dim the lights, and cue her favorite song. Then destroy that thing she hates in front of her very eyes. Unless it’s your boyfriend. Destroy him in private then show her the video.
No matter what you choose, show mom you care by NOT buying her flowers and taking her to a prix fix brunch. It’s the least you can do.