BOYS—SO SIMPLE THEY’RE CONFUSING

Lisi, you always give the best advice, and I really would love some right about now. So there’s this boy, of course, and two months ago we went on a date. Super fun, we got along great, but then he never asked me out again. Then out of the blue on Wednesday last week, he messaged me and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. So he came over on Friday and he ended up holding my hand and then we cuddled. It seemed like he really liked me! On Sunday, I texted him conversationally and he barely replied and when I replied, he never responded again. I’m confused and so hurt. Was he just using me? The thing is, one of my roommates knows him pretty well and says he’s a great guy so that makes it more confusing. Did I do something wrong? I feel dumb for liking him and thinking he liked me, because the way it seems to look now, he’s not interested. 🙁Anyway, I’m pretty sad about this and I want to know how to get over him or just hear your thoughts. You really do give great advice! Thanks 🙂

Kailee 

Guys are so simple they’re confusing. We are the more complex gender and because of that we find it impossible to accept the fact that they are as basic as they are. Think of boys as calculators and girls as smartphones. Only they don’t calculate, they just are. And it drives us insane. In times like these I turn to the first stanza of the Serenity Prayer. Not because I am religious, but because I am a female who is dead tired of trying to make sense of boys.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

–Reinhold Niebuhr

In other words you cannot change his behavior. All you can do is change your own.

Stop putting time and mental energy into him and save that space for yourself or someone new instead. Don’t let this guy string you along with another “movie night” text a month from now when he’s feeling lonely. Keep your head up and eyes out for a boy who makes you feel confident about your time spent together. You’ll know you’ve found him when you no longer have any perplexing questions about his behavior towards you.

I’m not saying you are a light switch that can turn off your feelings. A crush is called a crush because it can be crushing. But a guy who’s off and on like that isn’t going to make you happy—are you happy? No. So stop giving him the opportunity to make you sad and frustrated. Give the wound time to heal and then get back out there and fight for someone who’s worth it.

Amen.

If you want to know what boys really think about their crushes read Pretenders. Trust me.
TTYW,

Lisi

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