YALLWEST over the weekend was a blast. For those who couldn’t make it I’m sad we didn’t get our face time in, but I’ve included some highlights below to make up for it. Here’s a very behind the scenes look to start off.


I moderated the panel “Do popular things automatically suck?” Turns out they don’t. Lovely authors Maya Van Wagenen, Danielle Paige, Victoria Aveyard and Morgan Rhodes were panelists.


My dear friend and famed editor Erin Stein sniper snapped this shot of me moderating panelists in leather leggings. Realized when I got home I’d worn them backwards. At least in person I pretended to be cool (#WeArePretenders 24/7) and some people actually bought it, as evidenced by Danielle Paige’s tweet.

The infamous, aforementioned green room. It was buzzing all day like this.


Naturally, we took selfies. So many selfies. Here’s one featuring Erin, author Shannon Hale and me. Love these ladies.


Reading our “1 Star” reviews.


If you’re not following me on Twitter then you didn’t know I was posting behind the scenes videos at the event. You don’t want to miss something urgent like that again so go follow me now. I’ll wait.

Reemerging for a little sunlight and book fest fun did me wonders but this week I’m back in my writer’s cave cranking out Dirty Book Club pages. If I didn’t get a chance to see your face this weekend I’d love to see it this week while in hibernation. Tweet me, DM me on Instagram or PM me on Facebook a selfie with a message you want to share. I’ll personally respond to all. Can’t wait to see you!



Thank you for your birthday wishes and the motorcade of Fed Ex and UPS trucks that have been delivering gifts to my house for the last twenty-four hours. I survived another one, my friends. When I think of my last year, I truly wonder how. But then I see this video invite my ah-mazing friend Jenn made for my party and I know. I survived because I have great friends, a supportive family, awesome fans, patient editors, and a ton of water. Yes, water.  As you will see in this video I do my best to get those 8 glasses in every day.







Q&A Part 3


Q&A Part 3

Hi friends. I’ve got three more video replies for you today. Plus some sweet under-eye circles to prove how hard I’m working. Jannette, Jacinda, and Kaelan, these are for you.

* * *

Opps, my reply was too long so the video was cut short. The rest said: It’s easier to admit you’re not perfect than it is to cover it up.


More to come next week!



Selfie-Help: A Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfie

First a word from our sponsor…


Today is the day, my friends!!!! I am so excited to share this novel with you. Finally!!! This is why I am posting today instead of my usual Wednesday. I seriously can’t be contained. I have lived with these secrets long enough. I must share.

Being a Pretender is lonely. Like in a superhero sort of way. You have this public persona and then this whole other thing going on internally and if you’re any good at it, no one knows. You must become your own best friend. Your own voice of reason. And most importantly, your own photographer. Stay calm little P’s. My Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfie will help. At least with the picture part.

1) Chin up, buttercup. Lift your face to the camera to avoid shar pei neck. Less is more when it comes to chins. If I wanted to see a pair of C’s I’d peek down my own shirt. #wearepretenders  (I’m a B.)

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2) Choose your backgrounds wisely. There’s nothing wrong with having a toilet behind you if you’re relieving yourself. But if you’re selfie-ing yourself? There’s nothing hot about the pot. (There’s a “take a crop” joke in here somewhere. I’ll keep working on it and get back to you.)

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3) Any seasoned Pretender knows it’s okay to get help as long as you get all the credit. Not a very kind thing to do when another human is involved, but an App? Please. Apps are born to please. In fact, did you know that App stands for Aim (to) please please?  So download a self-timer app, line up your pose, and take your sweet selfie-time. Then, 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… SMILE!

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4) Don’t be a glass kisser. You won’t look sweet or cute or seductive. You will look like a quack. So duck off.

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5) What do you mean my eyes aren’t green? The camera doesn’t lie. (Filters do. Know’m’sayin?)

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Now fly, little P’s. Fly!!! Snap a selfie and show me what you’ve learned. Extra points if there’s a copy of PRETENDERS in the background.

If you live near Laguna Beach or have a private jet, come see me this Thursday, October 3rd from 5-6pm at Laguna Beach Books in Laguna Beach. I’ll be signing books, giving away S.W.A.P.s, and more secrets to faking your way to fabulous. If you can’t make it and must have a S.W.A.P you’re in luck. They’re out today!!!





I’d like to begin today’s Blah-g with a poem…

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I hate Valentines Day,

How about you?

If you are one of the few people who enjoy this Hallmark holiday, forgive me. But I have been  dumped, disappointed, stood-up, bored, food poisoned, acne infested, dateless, depressed through decades of them and the novelty has worn off. But hey, if you’re into it, enjoy if you possibly can.

For those of you who are staying home like me because you have nothing else to do would rather read, check out my new Tumblr.

If you are totally clueless unfamiliar with this photo and information-sharing site, don’t beat yourself up. Only 93.7 million blogs and 43 billion posts a few fashionistas, bands, news channels, business owners people are using it. And now I am too.
Pintrest is for my characters, Facebook is for my fans, Twitter is for my finds, and Tumblr is going to be for all things pretentious literary. This is where I’ll share the things I love about reading, online shopping, writing, books, and quotes, most of which I will have written or plagiarized.

Follow me now I invite you to take a look. Follow me, I said!


And please, have a very happy Valentine’s Day. Cupid still wears a diaper and it smells like heartache!