Blog posts in the category: Pretenders

January 16, 2013

HAPPY BIRD-DAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA!!!! I’ve been trilling happy birthday so much that the birds–mistaking me for one of them–have gathered. See?

Photo on 1-16-13 at 3.32 PM

In honor of your sixteenth thirteenth birthday, I will leak another journal entry from the formerly-named-soon-to-be-renamed-Phoenix-Five. Meet Lily Bader-Huffman.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011.

Here are the headlines: My name is Lily, I turn fifteen next month, and I am eating for three. Wait, I think it’s four if you count me, and ready for this, Mom and Dad are klueless kuz I still look way-skinny thanks to Karess.

Not only is Karess an educated personal trainer slash DJ on Sundays, he is the father of my triplets. Oh, and he’s all into spelling C words with K’s so now I …

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January 9, 2013

Zit Wit

Hi everyone and Lauren. Yes, I am giving special love to Lauren because she posted a comment saying my skin always looks good and I’m a sucker for a compliment. So before I leak the next journal entry from the series formerly known as Phoenix Five–nope, still no title–I am going to answer Lauren’s question about my skin care routine.

I must admit I don’t drink enough water and I ADORE being tanned so I’m afraid I have to thank my Bubbie Rose for the skin. Hers was seriously insane. I think growing up on the east coast helped because I could only melatonin-binge in the summer months. One thing I did do was moisturize with vitamin E cream every …

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January 2, 2013

DUFF LUCK

Happy 2013 my friends!

This is going to be a great year. I can feel it in my eyes, which are so swollen I had to wear sunglasses in the shout out picture below. Since I am starting the year off full of positivity I’ll assume that the random inflamation had been caused by an excess of good luck inside my body. It’s putting pressure on my skin, trying to find a way out so it can start working for me. Same explanation for my expanding belly. More good luck.

Do I have a new title for Phoenix Five yet? Nope. My editor Erin, (whom I ah-dore) is still encouraging (positive term) me to come up with something new. Yes, …

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November 28, 2012

Sneak Leak

Happy post Thanksgiving!!! I hope you all had a great holiday. As Alisha mentioned I was in O’ahu, Hawaii and I had a much needed break. I worked every day except for Thanksgiving but it felt different doing it on the deck of our beach rental.

Thanks to Alisha for writing such an ah-mazing blah-g while I was gone. I have to say, I saw her before I left and while she always looks stunning, she did seem more at ease. So I can vouch for the authenticity of her joyful ending. Yay office elf!

I also want to thank you all for your honest feedback regarding the title for Phoenix Five. The tribe has spoken. Most of you are …

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November 15, 2012

Tic Talk

I’m BACK! Thank you Mark at the Genius Bar (Fashion Island) for fixing my laptop yesterday. It was only gone for one day but I swear I had phantom pains. I kept looking at my monitor expecting to see my festive desktop and it was dark. You want to know what the problem was? My question mark key wouldn’t work. I had been too busy to take it in so I had to keep cutting and pasting previous question marks and it was starting to drive me insane. But thanks to Mark I can do this again ????????????????????????!

    Random note: I can’t stop eating Cherry Passion Tic Tacs. I want to but I can’t. I’m starting to feel sick from …

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November 14, 2012

Momentarily Lost

Hi friends. Temporary bad news to report. I’m having technical difficulties with my computer, which the Genius bar has taken hostage overnight. I feel a little lost without it and have had all this free time today. Cuh-razy.

I’ll be back tomorrow with a new Blah-g post and… A LEAKED PAGE OF THE PHOENIX FIVE!!!! Thanks for being ever understanding and stay tuned…

xoxo

Lisi…

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September 26, 2012

THE GRACELET HAS (almost) ARRIVED!

Forgive me Blah-g for I have sinned. It has been six months since my last entry about the Gracelet. So allow me to refresh your memory.

New series coming out. Phoenix Five. Most popular freshman’s secret journals are exposed. One of the characters, Vanessa Riley (check out her board on Pintrest) is a full-on over achiever. At least that’s what she wants people to believe. Anyway, she loves stockpiling awards. Among the many, she is in hot pursuit of—I’ll have her tell you:

“I entered the Girl Scout’s Young Women of Distinction contest. First place: Gold Award! Super prestigious. My entry is a bracelet with a secret compartment inside an envelope. You write a personal goal on a piece of …

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