Blog posts in the category: Lisi Language

The Teat of Technology Part 2

Hey Good Looking,

(Yeah, I’m talking to you.)

Last week I gave you a list of ten reasons why those of you born in 2000 and beyond have it easier than those of us who are, as old people like to say, wiser. Well, now it’s my turn to gloat.

The following are ten ways that pre-millennials had it better.

1) Prank Calls. We got to make ’em, got to answer ’em, and we laughed our abs into six-packs because of ’em. Nothing brought more hilarity to a sleepover than dialing up random people or our crushes and messing with them over the phone. Unless the victim recognized our voices (most of us mastered the art of disguise), we got …

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The Teat of Technology part 1

Hey,

I hope you all had a great long weekend.

What did I do, you ask? I drove to Palm Springs with my friend Elaine to celebrate her birthday. If this picture proves anything it’s that you can take the girl out of Laguna Beach but you can’t keep her from dropping a french fry in her bellybutton. That’s me on the right admiring my accuracy. And yes, of course I shared it with Elaine. It was her birthday.

Palm springs

Anyway, we got to talking about how different life was when we were in high school (1980s)  compared to life in high school now (2000 and beyond). And we came up with two lists: We Had It Worse Because… AND  We …

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32 is the new 50!

It happens.

Last Wednesday to be specific.

I was feeling low. Uninspired. A little unloved. A lot human. I had been thinking of the old days–when each of my blog postings would yield thousands of comments. You discussed them. You made friends. We were a community. A clique. And now? Notsomuch.

That’s okay. Times change. People grow. I read The Giving Tree. I know how life works. As long as you’re out there I’m all good. Truly. You inspire me. Being reminded that my words matter to you is everything. Not in a needy, desperate way. More out of wanting to connect.

Because the comments have dropped so dramatically I was convinced that your interest had too. Then I …

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To Blah-G or Not to Blah-g…

Hey you,

We’ve been together for what–twelve years now? During that time I’ve posted over 1000 blahgs and written 31 books that many of you have read. I’d say that gives us real relationship status. And as we all know open and honest communication is essential to a healthy relationship. So here is goes: Would you miss my Blah-g’s if I stopped posting for a while? Just long enough for me to finish writing The Dirty Book Club, then I’ll be back?

If I receive 50 comments in the next week asking me to continue I will. And I’ll do it with gusto. If not, I will assume you want to play the field for a while so we will …

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SPOILED ALERT!

Thank you for your birthday wishes and the motorcade of Fed Ex and UPS trucks that have been delivering gifts to my house for the last twenty-four hours. I survived another one, my friends. When I think of my last year, I truly wonder how. But then I see this video invite my ah-mazing friend Jenn made for my party and I know. I survived because I have great friends, a supportive family, awesome fans, patient editors, and a ton of water. Yes, water.  As you will see in this video I do my best to get those 8 glasses in every day.

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU!!!!

TTYW,

Lisi…

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Raging Glitch Part 2

I said nothing would stop me from answering your questions and I meant it. Does it matter that my video responses are coming two days later than I said? Maybe it does. But I put my heart into these answers and then raced off to the Santa Monica Public Library for NOVL’s Summer Soiree where I got to meet some of you in person. Here’s Jack from Tuesday. How cute is he?
Jack
This reader walked up and I knew right away Massie was her favorite. I can tell everyone’s favorite Clique or Pretenders character in an instant.
Massie
Special nails for License to Spill’s release.
She's so a Sheridan.

She’s so a Sheridan.

Sheridan Pretenders Nails

 

I’m back in the office, working hard to respond to your …

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Study this!

You have to go to school. You have to do homework. You have to get good grades or your parents won’t let you drive. So you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it.

But what if you could like it? What if you wanted to learn and study? What if you wanted to write papers and break off into groups to “discuss?” It’s possible, if you like what you’re being taught.

Behold the Pretenders Educator’s Guide. This baby is filled with dozens of ways teachers can school you on my series. Instead of writing a paper on Romeo and Juliet you could be writing about Lily and Duffy.

 

Pretenders Educator's Guide

Pretenders Educator's Guide Pretenders Educator's Guide Pretenders Educator's Guide

 

 

I know this year …

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#JuniorCougarClub

Am I happy you are all getting crushed by crushes? Of course not. I’m just glad you’re coming to me for advice and not solely relying on your friends. No offense, friends, but you’re just as inexperienced as the one in need. I have decades of heartbreaks to draw from. Enough mean girl dramas to fill a Lifetime Channel. And more sleepless nights than Draculaura.

I will try to get to all of your questions eventually, especially if you start them with Lisi, you give the best advice…, but this week my crushed heart goes out to Biebs Girl.

Lisi, you give the best advice… What do you think about dating someone who’s younger than you and way shorter? This

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Teach His Own

In my next life I’d like to cruise the world in a food truck that’s been converted into a jazzy clothing boutique. In the life after that I’d like to name nail polish for a cosmetics line. Assuming I get one more after that, I’d like to teach creative writing in a school like Alpha Academy. The first two are givens, but I bet you’re wondering what inspired the teacher thing. I mean, I am not a lover of classrooms or their smells. And yet, I’d love to stand before you and school you on Pretenders. The problem is I don’t have the patience to reincarnate three times. I want to do it NOW. So I am working on a …

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