How to Have a Summer Crush Without Getting Crushed.

School is out, tans are on point, and the sweet smell of SPF 50 is in the air. Call yourself a trash compactor, baby, because you are ready to crush. But here’s the problem: crushes are called crushes because hearts are literally getting crushed in the process. And you know what that means? Come mid-August the ground will be covered in shards of broken hearts. That leaves you and a pair of tweezers nipping at your freshly pedicured foot as you try to pluck out the splinters of pain. 

Or, you can crush-proof your summer with the handy-dandy-no-tweezers-necessary (unless-you-have-a-unibrow) method I like to call V.A.G. Now remember it’s not for everyone. Just those of you who don’t mind saying, “I’m working the V.A.G. method”.

Here’s how it goes:

V: stands for VALUES. Before you set eyes on any potential candidates, make a list of values that are important to you. Some of mine are, honesty, kindness, stellar hygiene, integrity, humor as a way to deal with things that suck, law-abiding…

A: stands for AH-MAZING. Becuase you want this person to make you feel ah-mazing. And if they don’t they have no place in your life. So, again, make a list of things a crush can do to make you feel ah-mazing. Some of mine are: Laugh at my jokes, great conversationalist, respectful, full of compliments, loyal, kind, considerate, punctual…

G: stands for GO and check your list. Meaning, every time you have an interaction with Crush, GO and check your list.

Is your crush’s behavior in line with your values? Does your cush make you feel the way you want to feel? If not, spray a ton of sunscreen and vanish in the mist.

The V.A.G. method takes courage and confidence. It asks that you hold out for what’s good, not good for right now. It demands that you tell your beating heart to simmer down and let your brain weigh in. It’s there to show you how often we ignore reality and chase our fantasies instead.  Of course, there are always some people who think that time, mind-games, or a tight outfit will win their crush’s affection and improve their behavior. And to them, I say, “Get yourself some tweezers and prepare for the prick of a lifetime.”

TTYW,

Lisi

13 Comments

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  • Laso Porrinson Loverr28091280938120 says:

    Laso Porrinson, I haven’t stalked your page for a while. I’ve really been looking forward to your reply. I think about day and night. I think of your brown hair blowing through the wind as I fall asleep. Some people try to contest me for your love, and I have murdered and sacrificed their bodies to you. I am sorry but I am super love you. Love me back please. *Kiss Kiss* Good Day lover.

  • LioekMirosinLover12-3912-30912 says:

    Hello, Lioek Mironsin
    It is me again, I just finished reading your monster university novel and I love. Thank you for blessing my fortnite mind with this book I love it. Please give me your roblox username so we can play bloxburg together and be best friends. I love you girlfriend. 😉

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    Dear, LAsy Garrison.
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  • Mariah Gaskill says:

    Are you making anymore clique books????

  • Kiana says:

    Lisi, happy birthday! You and I share the same birthday and sorry this was a day late. I was working.
    Interesting post. I was kind of surprised you posted such a thing. It seems you are progressing to the more “mature” topics, if you know what I mean hence your latest novel. It’s great though. Keep it up!
    Question: what if you have more than one crush and both are potential partners? How do you decide?
    And lastly, are there any rules to qualify? Example: too young, etc.

  • Lindsey Todd says:

    Hi Lisi,

    This is Lindsey Todd — I was a finalist in the Clique Movie Contest with Warner Bros. back in 2007-2008 (the brunette) 🙂

    I was wondering if you could privately email me at: todd.lindsey83@gmail.com. I have some questions about publishing that I’d love to ask you as one of my favorite authors growing up. I so loved the Clique series and your fun writing style as a teenager, and your books and writing all contributed to my decision to become an English major in college and, continuing in my passion for books and writing, to publish my first book.

    I would LOVE to hear from you and hope to speak with you soon! Please consider reaching out. It would mean so much to me.

    All best,
    Lindsey

  • Nikki says:

    Hi this is Nikki from your last post and i know that your busy but today is my B-Day and i was wondering if you would mind giving me a birthday shout out! I know you have a lot going on so its okay if you can’t but thank you for reading my posts and talking to me!!!!! Have a great day!!!!!!!

  • Amber says:

    Hi Lisi!
    Great post! Was rereading some of your novels, and thought I’d check out your website, and I stumbled across your blog! It’s amazing how even in something as simple as a short blog post, your writing draws me in and inspires me. I first read The Clique back in 2005, and about once a year I reread the series, as it is one of my favorites. Thank you for creating a world where my childhood mind could find happiness and companionship, and one that my adult mind can recall fondly. You are truly valued.
    – Amber

    P.S. – I saw in the comments of another post that you’d mentioned working on another Clique novel earlier this year? Any updates on that?

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