Humble-Blah-gging

Humble Bragging = Bragging about yourself while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example: I wrote the first two Clique books while working at MTV but when Best Friends for Never debuted at #7 on the New York Times Bestseller list I was forced to quit and write full time. Suddenly life became very lonely. It was awful.

Humble Blah-gging = Blah-gging about your new series while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example:

pens

Wow! I am seriously spacey. I didn’t even realize I was holding the pens that promote my highly anticipated new series, Pretenders. Someone had to point it out to me. I must be losing my mind. Medic!

You know me. It’s not in my nature to brag, humbly or otherwise. So imagine how uncomfy I felt when Erin, my editor insisted that I post a list of reasons why you’ll love Pretenders. I was like, Erin that is so obnoxious and self-aggrandizing. I honestly don’t have it in me.

Erin: Oh, come on, Lisi. Write about your genius plotting. The way you strung five stories together with such grace. It was as if those journal entries were woven together by the magical hands of Gawd, herself. And the character’s voices. I am convinced they’re real.

Me: I dunno. Sounds kind of braggy.

Erin: Fine. Then how about how hilarious it is? I mean I literally laughed out loud on the subway. No word of a lie, I needed CPR. I didn’t even care. My dying wish was that I could stay alive long enough to see how it ended. Thankfully, I did. I mean Jagger’s final entry? Total shocker!

Me: Meh.

Erin: What about how girls will finally understand how the male mind works, especially when it comes to matters of the heart? I mean seriously, Lisi, I’m calling you The Hammer, because you nailed it. I’ve always wondered what guys think and now I know. At the very least readers will realize that boys have feelings too. That’s important. Really.

Me: I know, but do I have to say that? Can’t readers come to that conclusion on their own? It feels more genuine.

Erin: Why show when you can tell? Unless we’re talking about your author photo. That should definitely be shown. It’s a perfect mix of sassy and serious. And that yellow shirt really pops.

Me: I’m not writing about my photo.

Erin: Gawd, you’re humble. Hmmmm. Oh, I love how you prove that there’s more than one side to every story. I’m always trying to figure out what guys are thinking. My friends and I analyze crush-conversations and texts for hours. Pretenders proves that there’s always more going on than we think. It also shines a light on the enormous amount of pressure teens face these days. How the bar has been raised too high. Looks, grades, Facebook “likes,” trophies. . . We are in a constant state of competition, with others and ourselves. It seems as though the only way to win is to pretend you’re better than you really are. It’s tragic. That really resonated with me.

Me: Thanks. But I think I’m going to let the book speak for itself.

Erin: Could you at least mention your Instagram account?

Me: You mean the one that focuses on confessions? Sure. It’s Lisi4realHarrison. I had to add the 4real because some Pretender swiped my name. Hey, “LisiHarrison,” if you are reading this please make yourself known by posting your picture and writing, I am a pretender because I am using Lisi Harrison’s name on Instagram. #wearepretenders. It’s the least you could do.

Even if you didn’t swipe my name, please let me know how you are a pretender. Do you spray tan? Fake sick? Cheat on tests? Say, “I love you” when you don’t? Hair extensions? Claim to run a six minute mile? Send yourself flowers? Fake being vegan? Don’t forget the hash tag #wearepretenders. I am creating a Pretenders interconnectivity web across social media and I want you to be part of it. I already posted one of the many ways I am a pretender. Go on, take a look. I’m about to post another one because I just plagiarized “interconnectivity web across social media” from Alisha the office elf. Thanks Alisha! Now will you please tell me what that means?

TTYW

Lisi (or am I?)

Comments

  1. I luv ur blog it’s so funny. I have a friend I’ve u her name is Erin too. She is so funny and cool.

  2. Sara Van Dawson says:

    Heyyy Lisi!
    I love your blog so much! I am literally DIEING of atisipation for pretenders to come out! *faints* that’s awful that someone would be so insecure as to take your name on Instagram! I’m totes going to follow!!
    ~S.V.D.
    P.S. I was wondering if you would check out one of my blogs, xohonorthealphaxo.wordpress.com? I would love to here your feedback, and I would have a heart attack if you awnsered! (Note: just an expression LOL.)

  3. Hey, Lisi!
    You’re an ah-mazing writer and I can’t wait for your new book(: You inspire me to write and be creative with my stories!
    P.S. I have to bring in a list of my favorite books and authors tomorrow for English and you and your books are definitely on my list 😀
    Lay-tah,
    ♥♛♥
    ✰Alpha Massie✰

  4. I’m a pretender because sometimes I pretend not to care about being forever alone and always single, when in reality it kills me sometimes. I also pretend that I don’t care if people check out my Wattpad account and the stories on it, but my heart still skips a beat whenever the read number goes up.

    LLAP
    Arianna

    • OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A WATTPAD ACCOUNT?!?! What’s your user? I’ll follow you and read your stories 😀 I always love your stories. You’re an amazing writer. I’m @Vampy4dictator (and Vamp0Gurrl but I don’t really use that account anymore….. for various reasons….)

  5. Shaila Gottlieb says:

    So psyched to get the book!

    Love the blog. So funny cuz I just was telling a long time fan of yours that oneof the many things I love about you is your humility!!!

    Was that a true or pretend statement?

    TRUE

  6. Hi Lisi, how did you find time to write the first seven books before you were able to quit your job? Would love some tips!

  7. I love how you have an Instagram now! Right when I saw you got an Instagram I went on it and followed you insantly ( mine is 2britt2). I’ve been so excited for pretenders to come out, I’ve written it on my calender. So I didn’t say it on the last blah-g so… I am a pretender because of many things; I tell my parents I finished my homework at school when really I didn’t and I do it in 1st block the next morning. I act like I am fine that the guy I like is dating another girl when really I’m not. Everyone at school thinks I am a quiet shy little girl when really I love talking, i could talk all day long about anything if I wanted too, and I wish I would get over my thoughts about whatever classmates might think and just say what I really feel. I AM A PRETENDER! And that is just the beginning. #wearepretenders

    • Also I’m not sure i want to say it and how to word or if ill regret it or not but here it goes… I am a pretender because I act like I’m selfless when really I can be selfish which I hate. Specifically on aug. 28. Prior to that day I left little comments on here about my 16th birthday was coming up and it would actually be on blah-g day. I was really hoping that you would put on the sticky note “happy 16th birthday Brittney” in the “my comments” section. Then after school that day I got on here and the new blah-g was already up and while it was loading, it had half of the pic already loaded and what I could see was happy birthday. (Which the inner selfishness me thought no one else on here has said it was their birthday so it must be me, not even thinking that you are on other social media stuff than just your website) Which got me really excited , waiting for it to load the full pic and see my name. But then when it loaded I saw another name. Which of course I was happy for that person that it was their birthday too, seriously. But at the same time my inner selfishness got the better of me and I got really disappointed. I pretended that I was perfectly fine and happy about it, that it didn’t bother me at all, when it actually did. I wasn’t thinking about maybe they straight up asked you if you could put happy bday to them not subtle comments like i did, or maybe other people had a birthday that day and wanted their name to be their too. I only thought of myself and I wish I didn’t. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me or anything I just thought that if I am going to admit to being a pretender then I think I should at least tell you the truth. No matter what happens. #wearepretenders

  8. Nice way of getting us more pumped up for your book, Lisi! Can’t wait. 🙂

  9. Oh, I was supposed to do my pretender confession last week, but I forgot. I could write a whole post on this. I think I will, someday, post exams. But here’s one for you: I pretend to be interested in things my friends are crazy about, because I know they want to fangirl, so I feel like I have to give them their moment. Even if I’m completely bored sometimes… I’m a terrible friend :/ Or maybe I’m really good? I feel like this is the boyfriendtogirlfrienddoesshelookgoodinthat scenario… it can be good or bad both ways. Eh.

    #wearepretenders

    Really looking forward to reading this series, someday x)

  10. Anyone on here have a pinterest? 🙂

  11. I’m a pretender because as an English major I’m supposed to love Joyce, Chaucer, and Blake. Instead, I’m addicted to YA fiction by Lisi Harrison. #WeArePretenders

    Waiting anxiously for Pretenders to come out!

  12. i hope i don’t die of anticipation for pretenders! And you are so right. Teens and tweens have so much pressure on them to be pretty, smart, funny, flirty, and yes, a little slutty to be popular. I have tried so hard to fit in with ‘that’ crowd but it never works. And honestly i don’t care anymore.

  13. I’m so excited for The Pretenders! & I’m glad you have an Instagram now! I just followed you. My Pretender confession would have to be I try to tell myself I don’t care what people think about me although in reality it drives me crazy wondering.

  14. Haha, clever!!
    Can’t wait for Pretenders!! In the mean time I’ll just re-read the Clique series 😛

  15. Okay. Maybe I pretend to listen to my friends when I have no idea what they’re saying. But it’s all good, right? #WeArePretenders

  16. I pretend to like and get along with my coworkers to make my job easier. #WeArePretenders

  17. Am i the only one who wants the clique back ._.

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