Humble Bragging = Bragging about yourself while couching it in a phony show of humility.
Example: I wrote the first two Clique books while working at MTV but when Best Friends for Never debuted at #7 on the New York Times Bestseller list I was forced to quit and write full time. Suddenly life became very lonely. It was awful.
Humble Blah-gging = Blah-gging about your new series while couching it in a phony show of humility.
Wow! I am seriously spacey. I didn’t even realize I was holding the pens that promote my highly anticipated new series, Pretenders. Someone had to point it out to me. I must be losing my mind. Medic!
You know me. It’s not in my nature to brag, humbly or otherwise. So imagine how uncomfy I felt when Erin, my editor insisted that I post a list of reasons why you’ll love Pretenders. I was like, Erin that is so obnoxious and self-aggrandizing. I honestly don’t have it in me.
Erin: Oh, come on, Lisi. Write about your genius plotting. The way you strung five stories together with such grace. It was as if those journal entries were woven together by the magical hands of Gawd, herself. And the character’s voices. I am convinced they’re real.
Me: I dunno. Sounds kind of braggy.
Erin: Fine. Then how about how hilarious it is? I mean I literally laughed out loud on the subway. No word of a lie, I needed CPR. I didn’t even care. My dying wish was that I could stay alive long enough to see how it ended. Thankfully, I did. I mean Jagger’s final entry? Total shocker!
Erin: What about how girls will finally understand how the male mind works, especially when it comes to matters of the heart? I mean seriously, Lisi, I’m calling you The Hammer, because you nailed it. I’ve always wondered what guys think and now I know. At the very least readers will realize that boys have feelings too. That’s important. Really.
Me: I know, but do I have to say that? Can’t readers come to that conclusion on their own? It feels more genuine.
Erin: Why show when you can tell? Unless we’re talking about your author photo. That should definitely be shown. It’s a perfect mix of sassy and serious. And that yellow shirt really pops.
Me: I’m not writing about my photo.
Erin: Gawd, you’re humble. Hmmmm. Oh, I love how you prove that there’s more than one side to every story. I’m always trying to figure out what guys are thinking. My friends and I analyze crush-conversations and texts for hours. Pretenders proves that there’s always more going on than we think. It also shines a light on the enormous amount of pressure teens face these days. How the bar has been raised too high. Looks, grades, Facebook “likes,” trophies. . . We are in a constant state of competition, with others and ourselves. It seems as though the only way to win is to pretend you’re better than you really are. It’s tragic. That really resonated with me.
Me: Thanks. But I think I’m going to let the book speak for itself.
Erin: Could you at least mention your Instagram account?
Me: You mean the one that focuses on confessions? Sure. It’s Lisi4realHarrison. I had to add the 4real because some Pretender swiped my name. Hey, “LisiHarrison,” if you are reading this please make yourself known by posting your picture and writing, I am a pretender because I am using Lisi Harrison’s name on Instagram. #wearepretenders. It’s the least you could do.
Even if you didn’t swipe my name, please let me know how you are a pretender. Do you spray tan? Fake sick? Cheat on tests? Say, “I love you” when you don’t? Hair extensions? Claim to run a six minute mile? Send yourself flowers? Fake being vegan? Don’t forget the hash tag #wearepretenders. I am creating a Pretenders interconnectivity web across social media and I want you to be part of it. I already posted one of the many ways I am a pretender. Go on, take a look. I’m about to post another one because I just plagiarized “interconnectivity web across social media” from Alisha the office elf. Thanks Alisha! Now will you please tell me what that means?
Lisi (or am I?)