ADVICE MASH-UP: Lover’s Block

I’m not sure what I love more: the honesty in your Dear EhMaFraud questions, the support you are showing one another, or the fact that you love my advice. Fine, it’s a three-way tie. But I can’t rest on my success. I must make like a shark and keep moving. So, today I am going to take this solution-revolution to another level and attempt something professional-advice-givers have referred to as, “bold,” “daring,” and “very confusing.”

I am going to mash two popular questions—ANY ADVICE ON WRITER’S BLOCK? and HOW DO I LAND MY CRUSH?–into one spectacular blog. I have gathered quotes from famous writers on writer’s block. They are insightful and should be helpful. Then I will twist their words and apply them to the art of making progress with a crush.

I am cracking my knuckles. Doing neck circles. Reversing the neck circles. And…

MARK TWAIN ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

LISI-MARK MASHUP:  The secret to taking this boy off the market and making him your own is to create tiny manageable goals. Instead of saying this stranger must adore me by Friday, try this: Monday–eye contact. Tuesday–smile. Wednesday–ask a question. Thursday–take a step back so he doesn’t think you’re a stalker, but if he starts anything with you respond in a sweet, approachable way. Friday–mini-chat. Figure out your big-picture goal and work toward it with easily achieved, bite-sized goals. That way you’ll feel like a winner every day. And boys like girls who think they’re winners.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“The best way is always to stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next. If you do that every day … you will never be stuck.”

LISI-ERNEST MASHUP: Leave while the party is still going strong. Don’t wait until the night/conversation/date starts to dwindle. Drag yourself away while everyone is still loving you; this will leave them wanting more. Game playing? Perhaps. But if you’re going to play, play to win.

CANDACE BUSHNELL ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“Why do I keep evading my work? Is it because I’m afraid of being confronted by my lack of abilities?”

LISI-CANDACE MASHUP: Why yes Candace, it is. Why do we avoid talking to our crushes? Same reason: fear of rejection. I’m not going to puke out that you-never-know-unless-you-try cliche because that’s just so blah-bvious. Plus, not knowing isn’t so bad. It’s less devastating than rejection, right? So I say this: if you’re happy with the fantasy then don’t try. Evade and keep the dream alive. But if you are like me and you need concrete answers, put yourself out there and then feel totally shocked when you succeed. If you don’t succeed, embellish the details so it becomes the most EMBARRASSING rejection story ever and make all of your friends laugh. Then write about it. If there’s one thing we can all relate to it’s a good rejection story.

NORMAN MAILER ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“If you tell yourself you are going to be at your desk tomorrow, you are by that declaration asking your unconscious to prepare the material.”

LISI-NORMAN MASHUP: Visualize the outcome. I do this all the time. Before you fall asleep, close your eyes and visualize the next day. See yourself in all the situations you expect to be in. Of course, make your hair perfect and your teeth free of tartar. Imagine yourself having a moment with your crush and your crush ah-doring you. Visualize this over and over again until you pass out. IT WORKS!!!

RAY BRADBURY ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“If you’ve got a writer’s block, you can cure it this evening by stopping whatever you’re writing and doing something else. You picked the wrong subject.”

LISI/RAY MASHUP: If you’ve tried everything and he’s still not drooling, you’re crushing on the wrong guy. It’s not fair, I know. Your heart wants him and his heart wants someone else. Just know that he can’t control his feelings any more than you can control yours. You can control the songs you add to your “I AM GOING TO FAKE BEING OVER YOU UNTIL I AM ACTUALLY OVER YOU” playlist. iDone.

LISI HARRISON ON WRITER’S BLOCK

“A story outline is like a road map. It gives your drive a destination and saves a ton of gas.”

LISI-LISI MASHUP: If all else fails, start quoting yourself. He’ll think you’re famous and hate himself for missing his chance back when you were just a fabulous nobody. Then attach a picture of yourself looking snobby just to prove you don’t have time for him anymore.

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TTYW,

LISI

28 Comments

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  • Siran says:

    Hi Lisi I loved the clique and alphas series. And your one of my fave authors I can’t wait to read the pretenders😃😃😃

  • lilly says:

    wow! By the way, I LOVED your last quote. I was writing this story and I realized it was a total fail after twenty pages. I finally figured out why! its because I didn’t have a story outline/road map.

    thx lisi!

    TTYL.

    lilly

  • I love love love this post! Thanks Lisi! 😀

  • Laura says:

    Little late, but just read this. Great advice, Lisi! However, I don’t know how much good it will do for me. Every time I try to write, I feel like its unoriginal, like I’m copying other authors, because I kind of do, sometimes. I blame this stupid article I read. It was all about how awful teen writing is and how only adults can write and teens are unoriginal and think they’re better then they are and it was just completely depressing and negative and awful and it made me want to stop writing. I keep going to back to that and it makes it hard to get anything done. I keep getting down because my characters never seem to have any depth, they’re all too one dimensional and fake, and my plots are lame and only half-thought out and everything is too clever and unrealistic and cliché and it just makes me want to cry.
    Okay, sorry about all of that. Mini rant over.
    Loved the post btw! ♥
    Laura

    • April says:

      Laura, that article is a complete fake. I kinda have the same problem as you, but what I do is just actually (kinda) copy what I’ve read from other books. To give characters depth you can write your story in first person instead of third, because it’s easier to let the readers know the person’s thoughts. Also, don’t make everything coincidences. They don’t always have to work out all the time. Half the fun of the book is thinking about the characters’ stupid mistakes!

      • Laura says:

        Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! And yeah, I know the guy was an idiot, it just kind of stuck with me, for some awful reason. But I should really just ignore it. Thanks again! 🙂

  • Arianna says:

    I have a new blog post up where I respond to Rachel’s relationship question!
    http://texastrekkie.blogspot.com/2013/05/ask-aria.html

  • Zula says:

    This tips are really nice Lisi, now just to find a boy…!
    But in all seriousness, I dont have a prom date, I’m not hugely bothered by that, but I kind of am? I am super happy to be going with my friends who some of also dont have dates and I know i’ll have a lovely time whatever, buttt… and I think its probably goes against most rules of feminism, I want a prom date so that prom feels more special? Just to have a fun, cute cliched overly movie prom with, is that wrong? All my friends are lovely, but I know deep down I’ll be jealous of my friends with dates, and that feels mean. Dont get me wrong, I dont want a date just to say I have one, and I dont want to use anybody or be perceived as doing that, but the heart wants what the heart wants? And a cute, gentlemanly boy, who i actually care for and who will dance with me and give me cuddles is what this heart wants.
    I wish I could say I’ll go pick one from the line of guys outside my door, but I dont know any, I go to an all girls school, and I spend the rest of my time drowning in GCSE revision, at dance classes (where boys are decidedly absent) or fitting in family time.
    I just wish I didn’t feel so rotten about it.

    But thanks Lisi, it always brightens my week a little to read the blah-g 🙂 xxx

  • Laila N says:

    ZOMG. You are truly amazing. I’m not in the process of boyhunting, but I really like this idea of quoting myself. Will totally fuel my ego, and I love doing that. Thanks for all that snazzy advice in general, though x) I think you ought to give yourself a cookie. Or two.

  • Rhea says:

    This is one of the many reasons I love you, Ms. Lisi! You’re an original and a genius!!!

  • Janelle says:

    Definitely one of by favorite blah-posts from you! These tips and quotes are incredible.

  • Shaila Gottlieb says:

    Very high brow…great advice Lisi

  • Giggly says:

    This advice is impeccable on both topics. Thank you so much for your wisdom and originality, Lisi!

  • Julia says:

    I heart your quote on writer’s block. It’s hilarious.
    Have I mentioned you’re AMAZING?
    😀

  • Shannon says:

    Lisi NEVER ceases to be original. This blog idea is brilliant and I love it. Though of course I have already snagged a fabulous boyfriend. #swagger
    Also Lisi, as a side note, I’d like to thank you again for your fabulous insight and beautiful, quirky writing style. I’d never have the understanding or capabilities to word things in interesting, precise ways without having read your books as a derpy 13 year-old. I am waiting like a dog who has been stuck inside for a 9 hour work day for your new work to hit the shelves and to be inspired. I swear if I could just come to Cali or wherever you are now and breathe in your creative office air, I would be as happy as I was when my boyfriend (a pop music hater) played TayTay’s Our Song on the way to prom.
    Keep being you! You’re awesome!

  • Lillie says:

    Awesome post, Lisi.
    I love that you combined real quotes from famous and successful writers with your spin on landing a crush. It’s great 🙂

  • Nadaa says:

    Hey remember me!
    I used to comment on here like all the time last year..but than I got swamped with homework…So I am supoosed to be doing a project but im instead reading this! Love Love Love this post!

  • Caitlin says:

    Im done…….

  • Maggie says:

    Great post, Lisi! I love the format that you used to address both issues and how it was, of course, ah-mazing advice.

  • clueless says:

    amazing post Lisi. I loved every bit of advice 🙂 and thanks to the amazing responses I got on the other blah-g (this is Clueless, by the way), I did talk to my crush and he didn’t run away screaming! We’ve been having small conversations and I’m really feeling more confident with these tricks and tips! thanks lisi and all the girls for their support! xoxx.

  • Ibby says:

    great post lisi (: woohoo, first comment! xx

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