It seems as though a lot of you have been experiencing boy troubles lately. Now that spring has sprung those feelings are going to intensify and have the ability to cause even those most level headed among us to spiral out of control. On March 23 Julia posted a comment suggesting a boyfast and I have to say I agree.
What’s a boyfast? If you read Bratfest at Tiffany’s you already know it’s what Massie Block suggested the Pretty Committee do when their boy obsessions got out of control. It’s a boy-free week. Time to focus on yourself, your friends, your family, and all that charity work you keep meaning to do. I’m not suggesting you delete any contacts or write the old fellas off completely. We are human, after all. I’m simply suggesting a week off. A cleanse if you will. A way to get back in control before the boys of summer come around. Because those ones are real trouble.
MAKE THE FAST LAST
1. Stop taking that phone with you. It sounds insane, like, “What next? Leave a lung in my locker?” But the more it’s with you the more you’ll be tempted to text and check texts. Can you leave it in the car during that trip to the mall? If not, ask a friend to hold it while you’re together. Anything to avoid temptation.
2. Plan a full on girl’s week of fun get-togethers that have nothing to do with boys.
3. All of you get 100 points at the beginning of the fast. If you mention a boy that is NOT a blood relative or a teacher and you lose a point. At the end of the fast, the one with the lowest score has to treat everyone else to (insert awesome thing here).
4. Fact. There are a lot of clothes out there that girls love and boys hate. Boyfriend jeans being at the top of the list. They make us feel thin and comfortable but they make guys think we poo’ed our Cosabellas. Trust me on this. No matter how high the heel, they still hate them. SO BUST THEM OUT! This week is all for you. Baggy sweats? Do it! Baseball cap instead of flatiron? Bring it! And for heaven’s sake, give that razor a break. (I say a bonus point for the girl with the hairiest legs by the end of the week.)
5. Okay, relax. I have a feeling a lot of you are all mad at me now because #4 implied that you dress and shave for boys and not your own dignity. That’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m simply trying to make a point. And that is what ever decision you make during the boyfast make sure it’s for you and not some guy you’re trying to impress. There are 52 weeks in a year. He shouldn’t get all of them.
Here is the pledge Massie wrote for the Pretty Committee in Bratfest at Tiffany’s. All together now:
I pledge the following to you,
To rid myself of boys
Done and done, they are through.
I’ll focus of fashion,
Study new trends in beauty,
Strengthen my friendships,
And tighten my booty.
You won’t find me flirting,
Or talking to guys
No texting, IMing,
No batting my eyes.
I’m above that now,
Been there done that,
Time for the LBRs
To have their turn at bat.
Let them wear tight clothes
And watch boring soccer (No offense, Kristen!)
Let them laugh at fart jokes,
Let them be the stalker!
It’s BFF time
No boys, not ever.
Because BFF has a new meaning
And that’s Boyfast Forever!
(Feel free to modify the words to your own liking.)
Alright, who’s in?
Tonight at sundown until next Wednesday sundown. Let’s ride!