PHONE-PAS

You are sophisticated enough to know that a faux-pas is the fancy French way of saying, what we North American’s typically call, “a fu#%-up.” Or what I, being far too eloquent to curse might refer to as, “a blunder” or “a mistake.” But have you heard of the phone-pas? Doubtful since as of post-time I am convinced I coined the term, which means, “a blunder we make with our phones”.

In celebration of the new iPhone5 I present 5 PHONE-PAS you MUST avoid.

1. It’s 2012. Even vampires show up on film these days. So don’t let a camera and microphone convince you that you have something smart to say. If you don’t know what you’re talking about make like an external drive and zip it. But if you must give your opinion it’s always best to act unimpressed. Unlike these people.

2. There is absolutely no clever way of saying this so I’m going to give it to you straight. It’s super ah-nnoying hanging out with you while you’re texting, checking, posting, tweeting, or searching. You’re basically saying, “Whatever you are talking about is a serious snoozer. But the people in my address book? Truly fascinating!”

3. Unless you are an on-call doctor first on the organ transplant list you better be looking in my eyeballs and hanging on my every 3-D, HD word.

4. Phones are like elbows. Get them off the table.

Fine, sometimes I eat with my elbows on the table. But I’m serious about the phones. It just leads to issue #2 and you know how I feel about that.

5. CRUCIAL: If you are going to use acronyms know what they mean. A few days ago I texted my mom who is new to ‘the text message’ and still finding her way. But still. I wrote to tell her I had food poisoning. And do you know what the woman sent back?

“LOL!”

I kid you not. I couldn’t believe how heartless she was. I am an adult, yes, but I was weak and vulnerable and I wanted some mommy love. She called me later so of course I asked why she thought my brush with death (drama sells, baby) was so laugh out loud funny. And you know what she said?

“Lisi, I didn’t think it was funny. I was sending you LOL–Lots Of Love!”

I mean, come awn.
TTYW (Mom, that means Talk To You Wednesday.)
Lisi

 

 

 

37 Comments

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  • Arianna says:

    I hate queries. I do. I really do. I will never figure this out. I seriously won’t. And the help I’m getting is conflicting with all the other help I’m getting. I will never get published. I won’t. Because I’m obviously the dumbest and most incompent person when it comes to writing queries. I really am. I hate this. I really do. I seriously just want to start raging.

  • vamp0gurrl says:

    hullo?

  • Anjor :) says:

    Anyone else on? Please say yes.

  • vamp0gurrl says:

    anyone care to post about music and TV shows I’ve never heard of but everyone seems to watch? Anyone? People, I think you’ve left your conversations in the wallet. Can you take out you conversation card and start talking-urm-typing?

  • vamp0gurrl says:

    God comments have been slow

  • Arianna says:

    I’m on the 11th draft of my stupid query letter.

  • Mehreen says:

    Like my new avatar?

  • vamp0gurrl says:

    comments have been slow. that may be because I’ve tried to cut back from all that commenting i did on the last blog.

  • Maggie says:

    I ♥ PLL. just finished the halloween episode. DO NOT TELL ME WHO A IS!!!!

  • Samantha says:

    LOL, Lisi,as in laugh out loud, not lots of love. I heart The Clique, and i heart you!

  • Haylee says:

    Zula- And sorry about my derena outburst! I just don’t agree with the pairing. But I understand why you like them. They had some cute moments and shipping should be because you find something entertaining! Not all completely taken seriously. And additionally, you know how Damon/Elena are going to have a steamy scene in 4×04 while they are at some fraternity and Elena’ll be acting OOC? And since I’m not a huge Stefan fan, I laughed at something that Paul said in a recent interview: “I feel like Stefan is in a delusional kinda world of denial which is obviously all going burst into a bubble. And then he’ll start crying hysterically.” and “I feel like Stefan is in an delusional world of denial without understanding what happened.” Oh my god, Paul needs an award just for being himself. And also this: “Rebekah will be deeply touched by Stefan and Elena’s devotion to one another,” What the hell? didn’t she tell him once that she didn’t understand what he saw in Elena? This show is determined to turn everyone into SE shippers. And also there’s going to be another MMF2 in 4×07. And Elena’s in black.

  • Haylee says:

    Zula- Sorry that I replied too late! Hope you see this. Haha, deliriousness. Those two can do that to you. 🙂 And yeah, I ship Dair, mostly because I like slow burn kinda ships. And I’ve already accepted that Chair is endgame, but if Dan has any self-respect, then he shouldn’t be with Serena. I’d rather him be with Vanessa, Rachel or anyone else really. I just don’t buy that Serena really loves Dan. I can tolerate Chair (even though I don’t really like it that much anymore.) but I can’t stand Derena. And I’m glad we can talk about Dair/Chair without getting into shipwars. I hate how Dair fans say that Chair fans condone abuse (I do agree that some aspects of Chair’s relationship can get too far ocassionally but isn’t all about abuse….and it’s just a TV show….calm down. What you ship on a TV show does not necessarily have to dictate your real life….unless it’s a freakishly serious kinda shipper that’s not fun to talk to lol. There are just some people who find the flamy dramatic love between Chair entertaining.) and Chair fans says that Dair fans are delusional for our faith in our ship (that irritates me too.) And I don’t hate Chuck….I don’t believe that he’s THE ONE for Blair but I do like his character development and I think Ed Westwick is fantastic at portraying him. And also I reccommend you to get The Clockwork Prince audiobook….Ed Westwick reads it and then you can pretend Chuck is reading to you. I love his voice but I really love Penn’s voice too….it’s so deep and husky….love it. And I really hated the way Dair ended in the season 5 finale (they didn’t even get a real break up! It was just badly written.). Like I said I’ve already accepted the Chair ending and I can tolerate them even though I don’t agree with some aspects of their relationship….but this was upsetting. Dair should’ve gotten their closure at least. And I loved NJ together….Charlie/Nate are OK….a big step from his other relatioships but I don’t think she’s right for him. And quoting katniss Everdeen “I volunteer!” 😉 And yes Irish accents are a must! And yeah I’ve loved horses since second grade….I’m not really a super-serious rider….I’m OK….I took lessons when I was little but I’ve not progressed too much. And the guy? He’s good-looking….he has chestnut brown hair and warm brown eyes but he’s 2 years older and I’ve only dated people my age so I dunno :/ And he’s a really put together kinda guy who really enjoys life….I don’t know how he does it lol 😀 And I’m definitely leaning more towards Zade especially after that finale lol (*naughty eye wink* speaking of first times….I’m not a Chair fan but you know how Chuck asked Blair if she was sure if she wanted to do it with him? I want a scene where it’s leading up to it and Damon whispers to Elena if she’s sure and they go on and do it in his bed. But I don’t think that should happen until late season 5 of TVD.) but I do like GZ too. But I don’t think that george and zoe should happen as a couple at least not now and I love the way Wade and Zoe argue like an old married couple. It’s cute! And I like lemon/lavon too! And about TVD drama did you see that picture of Stefan and Caroline in season 4 episode 2? My heart cannot handle this! My babies are getting closer! Did you see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLiC0vrtcQQ OMG Damon looks much hotter in season 4 than he did in season 3.

  • Syd says:

    Haha I am pretty sure a lot of parents think lol means lots of love 🙂 too funny

  • Julia says:

    Haha, great blog, Lisi! 🙂 I totally heart it!!

  • rujuta says:

    i love sayin lol:p:p and maybe its kinda weird or watever but i just love saying lolzzz. i mean its just so much fun to say hahaha:)

  • srishti says:

    So so so so true!!!
    It’s worse when someone SAYS ‘lol’ like it’s an actual word… I mean it is.. but not really the meaning at least 97% of us will be looking for 🙂 🙂

  • Shaila Gottlieb says:

    Love the blahg..feel free to use all of my blunders, arrests, wigs flying off in airports, falling in to trash cans!!!

    I wonder if SOT made it in to the lingo…or TTFN

    SOT = spin on this!

    TTFN = tat a for now, and by the way

    LOL

    MOMOMOMoxoxoxox

  • Maggie says:

    man does my locker hate me.

  • Meghan says:

    Lisi, I totally had food poisoning this week too. My mom did not have the same reaction, but when I told her I was over it, she texts ‘Yea.” She meant “yay!” but it didn’t look that way.

    Old people these days…

  • Lisi-
    I was wondering if there was some way you could could put all of the old blah-g posts from the old site on here too? I thought it might be like we carried a bit of our history back with us 😀 I dunno. I thought it might be a nice touch. If it’s doable!
    Thanks,
    Anjor

  • emily* says:

    loved ur post today Lisi! so funny and true

  • Maggie says:

    just saw the video. the first time i didn’t get what was so funny. the second time i heared him say it was an iPhone 4 XD

  • SAM says:

    i dont have i phone so i do the same thing as those people!

  • Anjor :) says:

    Ah, I saw that video on Yahoo last week. It was hilarious!
    My mom did the same exact thing! She’s sign all her email’s that way! I finally found out and was like “You’ve been sending email’s like that? What???”
    Needless to say, it’s funny now. NAWT back then.
    I agree. Phones are a big distraction. And people are loosing the value of REAL fact time.
    Log off and check into the real world guys. 😀
    Love you Lisi!
    Anjor

  • Laila says:

    Heh…. heh….heh….

    Yeah. I don’t have a phone. I think I’m the only year 11 person not to. Part of my hermitude involves my not wanting to be contacted by school people outside of school. It’s a bit … bitter-ish, right? But I just feel like: dude, I see you for six hours five days a week. What more could you possibly want?

    That being said, circumstances have it that I’m getting one this Saturday. Thanks for the heads up, Lisi x)

  • pinegorilla says:

    Omg. Lisi, your mom is perfect. At least she’s more technologically adept than my mom, who can’t even turn on the computer.

  • Raisa says:

    HAH! that video is hilarious. That’s so embarrassing for those people! & I agree with the texting with friends. If it’s something vitally important it’s fine but if you’re having a conversation with another person that’s just rude. I had (emphasize on the past tense) a friend who use to do that all the time! I would go over to her house and she’d be texting the whole time! I just wanted to grab that phone and throw it at wall. I know we were in middle school and 4 years ago messaging phones were the most exciting thing but no matter what year this is manners shouldn’t be outdated. Whoops long rant I’ll stop now 🙂

  • Ari says:

    My gosh! LOL. Lisi your mum is great!

  • Kimberly C. says:

    texting while you’re with friends is rude! If there’s an email or text that I must answer, I say excuse me, let me just answer this, and then go back to listening.

  • Yeah, I hate when people are texting on their phones while I’m talking to them, but they once I tell them to stop, they do. And I didn’t know that there are still some people who don’t know what ‘LOL’ stands for. Hope you’re feeling better from your food poisoning!

  • Lillie says:

    Hey Lisi!
    Your blah-g today was LOL-funny. And not in the lots of love way 😉
    Wow, I had no idea the iPhone 5 came out already, I thought it was due next year! But thanks for keeping me on top of the latest tech/media news, Lisi!
    Also, I think it’s great that you’re addressing PHONE-PASs as they are seriously annoying. I myself don’t have a phone yet, but everything you said, I absolutely agree with.
    I think that parents should also teach their kids (and sometimes themselves!) phone etiquette (that sounds so 21st century) because everywhere I go, I see a tween carrying around the latest BlackBerry or iPhone with no idea the damage it can cause.
    Great post Lisi, keep it up!

  • Arianna says:

    You gave us 2 Phone-pas… Unless the other 3 weren’t numbered which I’m assuming. This was so adorable Lisi! The part with your mom made me chuckle. I got a nice glance from my roommate in response. Haha! Have a great week! See you next Wednesday!

    LLAP,
    Arianna

    P.S. Did you know a girl in my Creative Writing class told me I looked like Wednesday from the Addams family? I felt like that was somewhat relevant here…

  • Rebecca says:

    haha yeah I know a lot of (older) people that mistake Laugh Out Loud for Lots of Love

  • Maggie says:

    haha about your mom! one time my granny was yelling about how she didn’t know why her ringtone was changed and thought someone prank called her when my mom texted her “made the fight”

  • Ibby says:

    can I please get a shoutout for being first for the first time ever?! YAY!! xx

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