Intention Span

 

My new novel, The Dirty Book Club, is one week away from dropping and with that comes the usual set of jitters: Will anyone buy it? Will anyone like it? What am I going to wear to the launch party? According to the R.S.V.P. list it’s going to be packed. What am I going to say to these people?

Those jitters have rattled me 31 times before and I survived. But this time is different. This time my book is for adults. And adults can be so judgey. I will feel the judgement in their polite smiles, their hurried exchanges, the absence of holiday cards. I will feel it.

Now, if you, my dear reader, ever wrote to me and said: “Lisi, I’m afraid of being judged, I’m afraid of letting people down, and I’m afraid I’m not going to know what to say when I take the stage to talk about my book,” I’d say: “There’s a word that helps me when I spin out. That word is INTENTION.” But I wouldn’t leave it at that. I’d add: “Identifying an intention before you act is like putting a stick in the fan of your insanity. It reminds you why you’re doing the thing in the first place, what’s worthy of your focus and what’s not.” Then I’d loop you in to the conversation I had with myself earlier today because it helped.

Q: Lisi, when you wrote the Dirty Book Club, what was your intention?

A: My intention was to tell a smart, funny, sexy story about the power of female friendship.

Q: So it wasn’t about selling a lot of books or getting good reviews.

A: God, no.

Q: Would you say, then, that you accomplished what you set out to do?

A: Yes, Lisi. I would. I love this novel.

 

Q: Lisi, when deciding to hold your launch party at a dive bar instead of a bookstore what was your intention?

A: I wanted my friends to have fun. I wanted them to bond, let loose, and inhabit the spirt of the book.

Q: Do you think that will happen.

A: Yes. Everyone is excited and eager for a wild night out.

 

Q: Lisi, what is your wardrobe intention for that night? Are you looking to break hearts and/or get approached by a modeling scout?

A: No. I want to be me. I want comfort with a whimsical flair.

Q: I understand you got an XXL T-shirt from the bar and are having it made into a dress for the event. Do you think that will bring the “comfort” and “whimsical flair” you were hoping for?

A: How could it not?

 

Q: Lisi, what do you want to convey to your readers?

A: I want my everyone to know that this a book about the power of female friendship. I’m going to make that the topic of my presentation at the event.

Q: Is that something you feel passionate about? Like, enough to talk about it? 

A: Given.

Q: Then what are you stressing about?

A: You mean other than the fact that I’m interviewing myself and that’s kind of weird?

Q: Was your intention to interview yourself?

A: It was, Lisi. It was.

Q: Then you accomplished that too.

A: Yes. Yes I did.

That’s intention. It brings focus to the mission and keeps you on track. A reader named, “Fashion Challenged” wrote in to ask what’s in style right now. And to her I say, “What’s your intention?” If it’s to look good and feel great I suggest staying away from what’s “in style” and going with what looks good on you. Those high waisted Levis are in style right now. But since my intention is to NOT have a flat butt and camel toe I am going to wait for that trend to pass and stick with the cuts that work for me.

And so, my friends, before you have that heart-to-heart, ask yourself what your intention is. Ask before you hit the gym, before you say yes to something you know is bad for you, before you gossip, before you go on a date with an a-hole, before you join a club…Identify your goal first, then keep reminding yourself of it along the way. Jitters hate when you do that and will leave the instant you remind them who’s in charge.

Now if only I could find a solution to cuticle picking…

TTYW,

Lisi

 

 

 

 

 

24 Comments

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  • Zelda says:

    I am so happy you’re back <3

  • Hi Lisi,
    I’m super excited to read the DBC.
    I love everything you have ever written. My book is being delivered on the 10th and although I’m hosting 27 women for a fun nite of dinner, music and wine ( hopefully not whine!) my goal is to start reading the book as soon as they all leave!
    The dishes and clean up can wait!
    So by the time your launch party is getting underway, I’ll be curled up on the sofa, laughing, crying and marvelling at what an amazing writer you are, and how much I always learn from your books. there are some advantages to living in the east!

  • Great advice Lisi!!

    Please post pics of the t shirt dress.

    Mu book arrives on the 10th. I’m having 26 women for dinner that nite…wine, music and laughs. We will be celebrating the launch with you from your home town of Toronto just 3 hours earlier!!!

  • Tiana says:

    WOO! I can’t wait to read your new book!

  • Kiana says:

    I can’t tell you how much of an inspiration you are to me. Your words lift me up. You are really smart and I will definitely check out your new book.
    As for advice goes, I used to be friends with someone and I’d like to be friends with them again, but they’ve blocked me on all social media and stuff. What am I to do? I don’t have any friends and life’s hard on me right now, you have no idea. I wish there was also a way I go privately chat with you for advice. :/

    • Lisi Harrison says:

      What is the reason you were blocked? If you want to share the story I can put it in a blog and give you my two cents. That way everyone can benefit from your experience. A lot of people have similar issues and don’t know how to deal. Think of all the people we’d be helping. Change the names.
      I will quickly say this: You don’t “have any friends” because you are focusing on the wrong people. These are not your tribe. Your tribe will be likeminded, they will share the same values, interests, and they will lift you up instead of taking you down. They are out there right now looking for you. Don’t give up. Look in places you haven’t checked yet.
      xoxo Lisi

      • Kiana says:

        As I read this, it makes me smile. You give me a sense of hope. It’s like a reality check.
        I think my whole life I’ve been surrounded by people who are not like me. Always felt like a bit of an outsider. So, on about this person that has me blocked…
        I used to have a blog on WordPress that was inspired by your Clique series. A lot of other “Clique bloggers” had thought it was okay to exclude me and basically bully me. This one person though, they had messaged me and soon we became great friends. Let’s give them the name Mila. My only friend online and I had a boyfriend who I often depended on for advice but looking back at it now, I realize I didn’t have much of a say in the friendship I had with Mila. I allowed my boyfriend to “control” the way I acted and what I’d say or talk about with her. So, Mila and I had got in fights over minor things and eventually I ended it. It feels as if the friendship wasn’t completely mine. I regretted it a while after and I’m not quite sure how I could even contact her. She was a great friend and I blew it. I know that if I got a chance, I wouldn’t blow it and I’d not let my boyfriend or anyone for that matter intercept my friendships. A friendship is between two people, not three.
        One more thing, what’s your take on friend making? Do you think it is like love where people say if you look for it, you won’t find it? What’s a good way to find friends?

    • Lauren says:

      I can totally relate to this too. I don’t have a lot of friends, and feel really
      Awkward when I meet new people. I don’t feel like I fit in. Mostly like a misfit. I probably have like 2 friends but they’re not even similar to me. Hopefully Lisi can help us both! Love this blog post, it’s a lifesaver! Have problems with inspiration for my online store, and don’t know why I’m doing it sometimes. But asking questions and figuring out why helps with the inspiration part.
      Xoxo
      -L

      • Tiana says:

        OMG GIRL SAMEE. I have friends that are way different from me and I just stand there awkwardly like what on earth are they talking about?.

      • Lisi Harrison says:

        Lauren, Kiana, Tiana…
        For one thing, can we puh-lease acknowledge that you are finding friends right here, right now, on this blog? See? You just need to be around people you connect with and the magic will happen.

        More on this either this Wednesday or next. This week I might want to update you on my book launch party, which is tomorrow.

        So if not this week then next week for sure!

        Pray for me, ladies.
        xoxo Lisi

    • Tiana says:

      That is so stupid. What kind of friend blocks you on ALL of your social media apps? I mean you didn’t do anything wrong, you just wanted them to be your friend again. I used to have a friend like that too. Girl, I know how you feel.

      (omg. I just realized how alike our name is..lol )

  • Susann says:

    This Q&A is just what I needed today – especially the “wardrobe intention” part. I’m getting married tomorrow and things will be rather untraditional (like, I’m wearing a Herve Leger dress instead of a ballgown) and low-key. Was it my intention to wear a bodycon dress and have a small reception at our place? It definitely was.

    Have a great time at your launch party! Can’t wait for the new book.

    • Lisi Harrison says:

      Good for you!!! And congratulations on the wedding. Make sure to laugh when things go sideways. They always do. That’s the stuff your guests will remember. My wedding was filled with cringe-worthy moments. Those moments made it.

      xoxo Lisi

      • Susann says:

        Thank you so much Lisi!! We had an amazing day and although there definitely were some cringe-worthy moments, everyone had a great time.

  • Arianna says:

    I’m so excited for The Dirty Book Club! I’m sure your release party will go great! I’ve been waiting for an adult series from you since Monster High started rolling out, so I’m super pumped for this!

    Good luck and lots of love!

  • Anita says:

    I am going to be buying your book Lisi. I won’t read it as fast as your other books because I am a mom now but I know I am going to love it! Have a blast at your party. Post pics!

  • Kaitlyn says:

    I seriously can’t wait for this book. When I started reading your books in 2009, I was in eighth grade. I think the first one that came out new when I was reading was in 2010 and it was “These Boots Were Made for Stocking” and I would beg my parents to drive me to the book store on release day so I could have your book the day it was out and i would do nothing but read till it was all finished. Tuesday, is going to be no different. Well, minus the fact i’m now 21, and I can drive myself to the book store. I’m glad it took so long for this book to be published because now i’m old enough to read it <3

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