I pride myself on being a voice of optimism. I tend to blah-g solutions not complaints. But here I am, staring at the screen, waiting for my thoughts to boil into a blahg-worthy idea and… UGH. All of my ideas are depressing. Not a single one will launch you into winter break with joy. So I asked Alisha my office elf to help. She came up with some great ideas. A list of nice things we can do for one another this season like send a care package to a soldier, foster a dog or cat, shovel a neighbor’s snow, write a thoughtful note to someone just because, or donate your old books and pj’s to the Pajama Program.

She also suggested I come up with a list of my favorite books and movies. Of course I love Clueless and the book Stargirl and… It was a great idea but I have to be honest. I feel sad and unmotivated and not in the mood to make fun lists. It’s like I have PMS in my heart.

I don’t usually feel this down, you guys. I mean, I have but there’s always been a concrete reason. Something I can fix or remedy or self-help my way through. But this feeling is all swirly and twisty and hard to pinpoint. It just feels heavy. Maybe because this is my last blah-g of 2012 so I am expected to reflect on 2012 but every time I think about 2012 the twisty feeling gets more twisty and the heaviness quadruples. Why? Because this year has kind of SUCKED in a big way. Personally I have lost two family members, my uncle and grandmother. I have worked non-stop and have a lot of close friends who have been enduring some extremely rough stuff. And then there’s the loss in this country. I have not yet found the words to express the gut wrenching sadness…ugh, I honestly don’t know what to say about last week’s shooting. I can only cry. And then Hurricane Sandy and…

See? I don’t want to be a downer, especially in my final post of 2012. And yet there’s nothing in my feel-good bag of tricks that seems strong enough to burn through this malaise. Maybe because it’s not a time for tricks or quick fixes. Maybe because all of this tragedy is real. And it’s supposed to hurt and all the Glee playlists in the world can’t do anything about that. So I am going to just sit here and stare at my screen and let myself feel it. I will cry and I will write. I will move through it the way we all will–one second at a time. What I won’t do is bum out on the roll of stomach meat resting on the top of my jeans, or the zit on my chin, or the cold weather (yes it’s actually freezing in Laguna) or the fight I had with my life-crush last night, or the deadline for my book that isn’t even half-done, or the dark circles under my eyes, or the stack of bills I have to pay, or the broken windshield wiper on my car or the sock that keeps sliding down my leg and bunching up in my boot. I’m just not. In fact, I’m going to slap myself across the face every time I do. Harsh? Perhaps. But sometimes we all need a good smack to remind us how lucky we are to be here. Even when “here” doesn’t feel like the best place to be. It’s better than the alternative and for that I am profoundly grateful.


I love you all. Slappy Holidays!!!!

TTYW 1.2.13


Leave a Reply
  • Courtney says:

    I am so stressed out because I am dying to know if there will be a second clique movie! Could someone please tell me??

  • Maggie says:

    I’m trying blogging yet again. maybe this time I’ll stick with it.

  • Maggie says:

    OMG I’M FANGIRLING OUT SO BAD!!!! EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! this is my face:

    I. Just. Saw. the. preview. for. Jake. the. Dad.


  • SAM says:

    HAPPY (early) NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

  • Maggie says:


    idk i felt like meowing

  • Maggie says:

    There needs to be a FAQ page for everyone over at “send me your letters”.

  • fawnybear says:

    Oh my God! I am seriously your number one fan since second grade!!! I have the whole clique series, monster high, and so so on!!! love you lisi!!!!

  • The Connecticut shooting is so heartbreaking. I can’t even fathom it.
    Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas.


  • Haylee says:

    And Lisi, I love Clueless too. But I think the novel Emma is better.

  • Haylee says:

    I am literally obsessed with quotes. And by that I mean OTH quotes. Amazing writing.

    • Haylee says:

      Like this quote. It really reminds me of the shootings that happened in Connecticut :(:
      Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world, like we send young men off to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing๏ปฟ that some would be lost along the way. When did we lose our way. Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?

      I feel bad for those kindergarteners that died and those that had to witness this ๐Ÿ™

  • rujuta says:

    lisi:) i love you because i am feeling the exact same way. and i realized that im lucky to be here too and there have got to be a billion people having a much worse time than me so instead of whining like a sad idiot, im going to go find something to do.
    happy holidays!!:):)xDxD

  • jorge arce santiago says:

    Querida Lisi espero que leas esto porque es muy importante, es sobre tu libro no.4 monster high mas muertos que nunca…bueno note en en todas las menciones del instituto se menciona a “MERSTON” en lugar de “MONSTER”… es solo mi observacion y te la quise hacer saber… te admiro mucho y pรกsala monstruosamente fabuloso

  • Arianna says:

    Merry Christma, ladies!!!

  • Maggie says:

    HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! lol

    I’m currently wearting finn and jake necklaces and finn and jake mittens. I’m also listening to justin bieber’s drummer boy and typing with my thumbs. It’s hard.
    What time is it?
    lol i’m a total nerd for that show.
    who am I kidding.
    I’m a total nerd in general!
    NERD AWAY! *puts on cape and runs off*

  • Zoey Z says:

    I was heartbroken and full of disbelief when I heard about the shooting. That entire town is going to be changed forever and constantly reminded of that every year. But, my school recently started a Friends of Rachel’s club (Rachel Joy Scott was the first victim of the Columbine school shooting and she lived by life mottos that everybody should follow), and one thing that I’ve learned from it is that you can’t spend your life mourning things beyond your control. Tomorrow is not a guarantee, but instead a second chance, in the words of Rachel. The FOR club at my school put together a Vigil for the victims and our choir sang You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban and Silent Night. Afterwards, rather than crying and mourning over something I can’t control, as sad as it was, I thought about how incredible it is that a town that everybody thinks of as terrible and full of bad, troublesome kids, could pull together and do something like that. I used to dread going to school because of how kids treated one another. Now, everybody does their best to speak with kindness and be NICE to each other. Terrible things like this will happen, but if one only dwells in the darkness, they waste their life. Dumbledore said it himself-happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

  • Haylee says:

    The chihuahua watch pic is so cute *_*

  • Haylee says:

    LIsi don’t be too hard on yourself! I think that you’re a great writer and I’m sure the outcome will be great! And btw thank you for writing Alphas, Allie really reminds me of myself and I found that book an enjoyable read.
    Good Things That Happened In 2012:
    -I got an A in my engineering class.
    -My acne cleared up
    -I started writing a new story after a few months of not having any inspiration.
    -Gossip Girl finally ended. THANK THE LORD, cause I really hate that show due to its poor taste and writing. Also because they promote that abuse is okay, getting traded for a hotel is okay and dating your stepbrother is okay and a bunch of other immoral things. I’ve never hated a show as much as I hate GG. But the books are okay.

  • Maggie says:

    Merry Apocolypse!

  • purpleowl16 says:

    Lisi how about this joke?
    Knock Knock!!
    Who’s there
    Sea Mop
    Sea Mop Who? ( sounds like see my poo)
    Did you say see my poo?
    Everyone LOL

  • Lisa says:

    I’m so sorry about what you’ve been going through. I’m a freshman and high school and in this class called Writer’s Workshop– it originally was journalism, but now it is a creative writing class. In the middle of November we started writing novels for National Writing Month…since we are freshman we only have to do 20,000 words instead of 50,000. Since we started late we are still writing them in December. Last Thursday I was told that all 20,000 words were due on Tuesday of this week, and I only had 7,000 words then! Over the weekend, I was working all through Saturday and Sunday on the novel and ended up having only 12,000 words by Monday. And then I found out that only 10,000 were due.
    Nevertheless, last weekend was the most stressful weekend since August. It was horrible.
    So I can relate to you feeling stressed about your deadline, and everything else listed.
    But I love your outtake on all of this. I’d rather be stressed about writing a novel than not writing it at all. I’d rather fight with the people I love rather than never see them again.
    Your words have inspired me to get a new perspective on everything that’s been stressful this week, including midterms, my novel, my family, etc.
    Thanks Lisi again. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!
    <3, Lisa

  • SAM says:

    a lot of stuff that was GOOD happened to you and if your reading this thank
    of being a great author and making back and deader then ever! YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO
    WRITE BOOKS! that’s what i love about your writing skills you always make it like were there or
    want to be there! so thank you again
    love sam

  • Shaila Gottlieb says:

    Hi Lisi,

    Even when you think you have nothing to say to inspire, you always come through!

    Optimism begins with truth and honesty, otherwise itโ€™s delusion! Thanks for always being real, cuz the last things we need in times of sadness are lies and platitudes.

    You and Alisha both got it right…you need to ALWAYS be grateful for what you have, and to SEEK OUT those who could benefit from compassion, a smile, a holiday dinner.or whatever..and the magic is that as sad as the other situations might be, everyone

    both the donors and the recipients feel better.

  • emily* says:

    I’m sorry you are having such a bad day Lisi, yes 2012 has definitely had some horrific events I’m trying to look forward to this new year where we can all start over and try to be better people

  • Julia says:

    Poor Lisi! Something that will cheer you up maybe: It is so adorable! I know you don’t have that much time to read all of these posts, especially mine (16 is a boring number!), but this vid is only a minute or two long. Enjoy!
    P.S. I really need to see Clueless. ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy Holidays!!!

  • Lillie says:


    To distract you from the “malaise” that you are in, let’s think about all the good (and wonderful!) things that happened in 2012:

    1) London 2012 Summer Olympics – Hello?! It’s the Olympics! Who wouldn’t be excited?
    2) Gangnam Style – This song always gets people in the mood for dancing
    3) The Election – OBAMA for President again!
    4) Leap Year – An extra day to just relax and do nothing

    I know these are all pretty general and somewhat mainstream, but these are all the ones that I could come up with so far (I have TWO Unit Tests and a Quiz to study for).

    Feel free to COPY & PASTE my list and add your own things that made 2012 an awesome year. I hope this makes you feel better, Lisi!

    Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

  • Laila N says:

    That photo was SO not a slap, Lisi. It was more of pat. You need to work on those slapping skills.
    Okay, not a time for jokes? I don’t want to speak out of line here, because I can’t say I know exactly what it feels like, but perhaps the year seems dreadful because of the focus on the tragedy. While we’re so busy mourning over the doom and gloom, one tends to forget the good stuff.
    For example, my grandmother is gravely ill. I don’t think she’s going to live for a long time. While it’s upsetting and heartbreaking, my cousin in France, my cousin in Japan, my cousin in Dubai and my cousin-in-law back home are all pregnant. I’m going to be an aunty a dozen times over x)
    Isnt life compiled of both? I’m sure if you sit down and really think hard, you’ll find the good stuff inbetween the bad. You should’t forget the tragedy, of course – it’s what reminds you how harsh life is, it’s a reality check that life’s not perfect. But you shouldn’t forget the good stuff either, ’cause that’s what makes life worth living.
    Okay… that went on for longer than I intended o.o And a lot more cheesier. Hm.
    I wish you happier days for the coming year (:

  • Arianna says:

    Oh, and I just got my GPA from my first semester of college and it’s 3.78. Its pretty good. But no one seems to care. No one is proud so I can’t even find pride in it anymore. Instead, I feel like I should have worked harder and done better. I just can’t win.

  • Ibby says:

    aww, try to perk up Lisi and stay strong!
    We should all try to think of some things she could do to help make her feel better. I suggest chocolate and a bridesmaid/pitch perfect double feature ๐Ÿ™‚ x

  • Kat says:

    STAY STRONG, LISI! I know 2013 will be a better year!!

  • 2012 isn’t the best year for me either, but it now it seems a lot better than everyone else’s. And this post was actually very enlightening, because I’m happy to have the life I have now. Hope everything works out for you Lisi!

  • Arianna says:

    Let’s see, for me 2012 entailed me still not having a boyfriend or being kissed, graduating with no honors or friends, getting countless rejections for my manuscript and me realizing I suck at writing queries and synopsis. I’ve also discovered I’m the worst writer in my class, I’ve lost several writing contests now, and I’m about to quit writing all together because I obviously fail at it. And that sucks because now I’m wasting time and money to get a degree in Creative Writing when I won’t be able to do anything with it because I’m terrible at it. I feel like an absolute failure and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life and all I want to do is cease to exist. I’m a failure as a girl because I’m revolting and no guy will ever date me and a failure as a writer.

    Oh, and my coach’s son and my cousin both have leukemia. That’s great. 2012 wasn’t great for me either. I hope your 2013 is good to you.

    • Kat says:

      Arianna, I read your blog and you are a great writer! Don’t be so hard on yourself:)

    • Tara says:

      Oh Arianna don’t be harsh on yourself! I’m sure you’re a beautiful woman and not veryone has had a boyfriend or have gotten kissed. And you’re not a horrible writer! You shouldn’t quit what you love. There is always someone out there for everybody, don’t put yourself down.

    • Haylee says:

      My year wasn’t as bad as yours, but still just as bad ๐Ÿ™ But I have seen your writing and I think you are a good writer, not as bad as you make it sound. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • purpleowl16 says:

      di u graduate from middle or high school?

  • Ari says:

    Have a happy holiday Lisi and when life turns upside down always remember there’s a reason to smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Syd says:

    We all have times like that, I hope Christmas finds a way to cheer you up! Sometimes the best thing to do is watch a Christmas movie with your choice of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate then save the bottling up problems for another day ๐Ÿ™‚ Or you can be proactive and resolve the problems and reward yourself with a Christmas movie! Whatever you are content with.

  • Kailee says:

    You know, sometimes it’s okay to vent and tell everyone why you’re down. We love the happy times in life and we need them to remind us about how wonderful life is. But it’s also good to talk about the hard things in life, as hard as they truly may be, because they make life real and they help us relate to the rest of the world. And they make the good times that much better. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for all your blogs, Lisi, I look forward to them every week because you’re a great writer and because you’re a great role model. And when you really need to, it’s okay to cry. I feel like I’ve been crying all week because every time I think about the shooting last week I get so emotional. I’m hurting too. I hope you feel better and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Maggie says:

    Lisi, you rock and I hate to see you so down. We all have those days. Even if our problems are petty like no adventure time premieres in 2 weeks. (I’m struggling, lol) or serious like losing family members, they make us feel down. There is no better cure than crying and complaining though. Lol sounds very bratty but it’s true. I know you’ll make it through and find happiness and peacefulness again.
    Or the world will end Friday and you won’t have to worry anymore.

  • Rebecca says:

    Aw Lisi! Don’t stress too much! All of your fans are here for you <3
    Happy Holidays!

  • Aisha says:

    You may feel like that was negative, but to be honest it was rather uplifting. Feel better and enjoy your holidays Lisi! We heart you (:

  • kat10235 says:

    Happy Holidays Lisi! I heart you!!

    • purpleowl16 says:

      Lisi how about this joke?
      Knock Knock!!
      Whoโ€™s there
      Sea Mop
      Sea Mop Who? ( sounds like see my poo)
      Did you say see my poo?
      Everyone LOL

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