For the Self Archives - Page 2 of 4

January 29, 2015

Grit or Get Off The Pot

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes.” – William Gibson.

Have you ever shared your life’s grand plan with someone and in an instant your dreams were dashed with negativity? We all encounter discouraging naysayers on our path, but it’s particularly difficult to stay focused in reaching our goals when those closest to us can’t or won’t be our support system along the way. Danielle is experiencing this right now and commented about it on my Facebook page. Here’s her story: I’ve wanted to become a writer for quite some time. The only problem is my family doesn’t support me in my decision. They say things …

January 22, 2015

BEST FRIENDS FOR NEVER

Here’s what’s #trending right now in my inbox: BFF break-ups. The silent but deadly kind where you both wake up and are no longer following each other on Instagram. If you are female over the age of nine you know what I’m talking about. This is Kendra’s story:

Hi Lisi! I have a problem, maybe you can help. You always give the best advice. It’s about my best friend, now my ex-best friend. We met at work two years ago and became best friends fast but then I noticed that she always had a lot of free time and nobody else except me to fill it. She became really needy. Problem is, I have a TON of people in my

January 14, 2015

Networking The Room

Last week I mentioned one reader’s comment caught my attention. Here’s what Juliet asked:

Lisi, what is the best way to network? Especially if everyone in the room is richer/more accompished than you are? I’m about to go off to a fancy college and need to know how!

First, Juliet, you have to know what makes you valuable. To start, get the phrase “everyone in the room is richer/more accomplished than you” out of your noggin because people can sniff out insecurity and it smells like a dude’s locker room. Just because someone is rich doesn’t mean they’re better than you. One of my favorite quotes comes from Dorothy Parker: “If you want to know what God thinks about money, …

December 10, 2014

Anti Advice

I get messages every day from fans asking for my advice and I try my best to answer as many questions as possible here on the blah-g. Most of my responses stem from personal experience, but I also tend to search around online for any additional pieces of wisdom that might help you. In doing so, I’ve come across a LOAD of terrible advice out there, especially when it comes to relationships. So terrible in fact, I shudder thinking one of you might someday stumble upon said harmful adages and mistake them for genuinely helpful answers. Below are the top three worst pieces of advice I’m come across so far.

1) “Play hard to get.”

Having a little mystery or …

December 3, 2014

Love/Hate Relationships

Hi friends. I’ve replied to a number of your comments and Facebook messages here on the blah-g lately and many of you have asked me crush questions. Namely, how to get into a relationship with a guy you like or how to know if a crush likes you back. But what if you’ve got the guy, you’re in the relationship, and you’re still not happy? I received a message from a reader over the weekend–we’ll call her Rebecca–who doesn’t need to get into a relationship, but instead needs out of the one she’s in. Here’s what she said:

Hi Lisi! My question is more of a situation I’m in that I’m not sure I know how to get out of …

November 19, 2014

BFF or Bully?

Hi friends. I recently got a message from a fan that tugged at my heartstrings. She asked to remain anonymous and as I promise all those who send me confessions, I will happily grant her anonymity on today’s blah-g post.

But here’s the gist: Picture a clique at your school. One girl is the constant target, the one who the others relentlessly pick on. Maybe there’s an alpha girl in the group–the target’s BFF–who’s slinging all the insults and mean-spirited jokes. The target says she’s allowing it to happen because she sympathizes with the alpha girl and knows she is actually deeply insecure and these insults are a way for her to feel better about herself. But it’s gone on …

September 3, 2014

Boy Bound

I’ve received a number of comments and messages from readers having trouble in the crush department. So today I’m addressing Lily in hopes it will shed some light on a few of the situations I’ve read in your questions.

Here’s what Lily said:

Hi Lisi!! ur advice helped me a lot!! from ur guy advice to having a better self esteem! love you! i have a problem tho… i like this guy who i guess i talk to sometimes. but he tells me he doesn’t like anyone, so im afraid that i cant ‘catch his attention’! we’ve ‘bantered’ and people constantly say we’d b a good couple but i dont know how to get him to like me! I’m too …

April 23, 2014

Customize A Custom

We live in a culture of customs. Birthday parties, Sweet Sixteens, Engagements, Weddings, Baby Showers… And each one comes with its own traditions that define it. Cakes, diamond rings, tossed bouquets, tiny clothes and tea sandwiches… This is good if you value tradition, but if you’re more of a trailblazer it can feel restricting and uninspired. This letter from Madi Williams says it all. She wrote:

“Lisi, did u have a sweet 16 party? Are they all they are cracked up to be. Cuz this girl (mean girl) in my spanish class is all like “I’ve driven before, I’m having a sweet 16 party and…..”
Me: (mentally) no one cares. But honestly I do care, I mean people are having …

March 19, 2014

How to Fit in By Standing Out

A few weeks ago I went snowboarding in Park City, Utah. Am I good? I suppose for someone who goes once every few years, was born with hyper-flexible legs, and has been described as “floppy” I can hold my own. Rather, I was holding my own until day two when I fell and saw my ankle snap. Yes, saw. I had a white flash moment where the pain was so acute I had X-Ray access to my internals and actually witnessed the damage as it was being done.

While the rest of my group glided into the lift line for another run, I limped to the parking lot–board in hand, pride beneath my heavy boot. Oh, and I cried. I …

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“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes.” – William Gibson.