Blog posts in the category: Pretenders

Series Strength

Hi everyone,

Alisha here, guest blogging for Lisi today. We’ve decided to start posting the guest spots on her main page so you can find it at more than one site. The Office Elf blog is still up and will be the second home for these posts but, honestly, I was getting lonely over there and wanted a little more Lisi connectivity. Go Team LH! 

Some people love to throw around the adage “less is more” without knowing where that saying actually comes from. We saw it first in a Robert Browning poem  called Andrew del Sarto (Called The “Faultless Painter”), which tells the story of the Renaissance artist who possessed great technical skill in his craft, but …

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Leaking the Spill

The countdown to Pretenders 2 is AWN!! License To Spill drops June 24th and all of your questions will be answered. I know many of you were outraged by the cliffhanger at the end of book one. I get it. You were left there to dangle and the drop was steep. If the drop were an actress it would be named Meryl Steep. If it had a few girlfriends stay over night it would be a steepover. If it was the title of an Adele song it would be Rolling in The Steep.

License to Spill

Naturally you sent your angry reviews to me because you don’t know who X-Phonie is. But I made sure X responded to them. So the second book …

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Me: Exposed

You know how models make a big deal about posing in magazines without makeup or Photoshop? As much as we like to bust on them for it, I get it. Fooling us into thinking they are more genetically evolved than us is how they make their money. And goading you into thinking I am an (HYPERBOLE ALERT) off-the charts intellect who poops several flawless novels a year is how I make mine. But I have a behind-the-scenes team, too. They just care more about making my words look pretty than my… everything else.

Here’s how:

Once upon a time I became a huge outliner. I still spend months and dozens of pages drafting my outline so the story and structure …

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Teach His Own

In my next life I’d like to cruise the world in a food truck that’s been converted into a jazzy clothing boutique. In the life after that I’d like to name nail polish for a cosmetics line. Assuming I get one more after that, I’d like to teach creative writing in a school like Alpha Academy. The first two are givens, but I bet you’re wondering what inspired the teacher thing. I mean, I am not a lover of classrooms or their smells. And yet, I’d love to stand before you and school you on Pretenders. The problem is I don’t have the patience to reincarnate three times. I want to do it NOW. So I am working on a …

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Catch Me If You Can!

Look up! Higher. Higher! Like 35,000 feet up! See that plane? See the person wearing the giant headphones waving? It’s me. I’m heading from LA to DC to SC to YA’ll Fest.  Join me, won’t you?

 

YALLFest

That news is big, but this news is BIGGER. I will be LIVE TWEETING (@LisiHarrison) at the events and giving S.W.A.P. bracelets away to fans.

Here’s where you come in. Write in the comments section if there’s anything or anyone in particular you’d like a picture of while I’m there. Hoping for a future shout out? Put that in the comments section too and I’ll make it happen.
TTYW,
Lisi
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Pretenders Guide: Love The Day You Hate

Back when I was in school, nothing depressed me more than Sunday evening. The Canadian world outside my bedroom window was dark, cold, and still. The only light seemed to come from my desk lamp which cast a judgmental glow on the leaning tower of binders that had yet to be cracked. I was either exhausted from a sleepover or mourning the lack of messages from my latest crush. I also suffered from S.H.S. or Sudden Hate Syndrome–the fear of being despised on Monday for no reason. And then there was that homework. As much as I begged, it simply refused to do itself.

On Monday everything was fine. But that Sunday night sadness always returned, bringing with it a …

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The Fashion Channel: A Pretenders Guide to Fashion Trends

Forgive me for prying but:

Do you have a flair for drama? Do you turn to celebrities and fashion mags for inspiration? If at first you don’t succeed do you try-try again?

Yes? That’s you? Well then, your Pretender Personality is Sheridan. You like to channel different personas to fit your mood and agenda, which makes fashion one of your greatest assets. Wearing a fab outfit will give you confidence to talk to that crush, ace that test, or sweet-talk your parents into lifting that embarrassing curfew. So if you’re updating your costume closet and eager to trend like #AmericanHorrorStory, add the following five things to cart.

1-prints

Channel Katy Perry and ROAR with leopard print.

2-emerald

Channel Dorothy and get yourself …

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Fake It to the Limit

Thanks to all of you who joined me in the lounge yesterday. It was a blast!!! I’m sorry about the technical difficulties, but you can watch the webcast here.

We’ve all heard the phrase, fake it ’til you make it. But these master pretenders started after they made it. Or maybe fame gave them the means to become the people they were truly meant to be. It’s impossible to know. If only we had their journals…

5. Snooki from MTV’s Jersey ShoreSnooki before vs afterFrom naughty to hottie.

4. Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus before vs afterFrom ah-dore to hard core.

3. Justin Timberlake

JT before vs afterFrom rapper to dapper.

2. Heidi Montag of MTV’s Laguna Beach

Heidi Montag before vs afterFrom girl-next-door to door-knockers.

1. Lady Gaga, queen of pretending

Lady Gaga before vs afterFrom …

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It’s Time We Had “The Talk”

Hey, do you have a second? …It’s nothing major, just that, you know, we’ve been hanging out for like, 10 years now and… while I think this weekly Blah-g thing is great, it’s starting to feel a little, I dunno, been-there-done-that… No, I’m not trying to end things. Actually, it’s the opposite. I was hoping we could have a real chat, like where I see your face and you see mine. Eyes blinking, mouths moving. Just us being us in real eastern / pacific standard time.

What do you say? Can we at least try it once and see how it goes?

Lisi Pretenders

Shhhhhh. Don’t speak. I’ll leave you with the details and you can think about it. But don’t think …

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