Romance, like tequila, often brings out the stupid in us. We become impulsive, idealistic, and short-sighted under its intoxicating spell. So if you want to avoid the painful hangover reality often brings and enjoy the warm buzz of romance for years to come, keep the following five things in mind.
1 Know the difference between love and infatuation. Love feels safe, peaceful, and kind. Infatuation feels like insecurity, obsession, and a panic attack at 35,000 feet.
2 Handle your own finances. Never give that power to your partner. If you are a stay-at-home parent and don’t earn an income make sure you have access to the accounts and understand what’s coming and going at all times. If not you will feel vulnerable, resentful, and inferior. Is accounting fun? No. It’s worse than a pap smear. But imagine where you’d be without pap smears. Not in a healthy romantic relationship, that’s for sure.
3 If you are considering marriage ask yourself this: Do I see myself growing old with this person? Like really old. Like walkers and oatmeal-on-the-lips old? When I experience a debilitating loss will they comfort me or shut me out? And say I poop my adult diapers. Will they be laughing or shaming? If you don’t see patience, kindness, and laughter in these scenarios you’re making a terrible mistake.
4 When your Valentine is bummed don’t ask if you can do anything to help. Just show up. Sometimes a hug is enough.
5 If you want to be loved, be loveable.
Happy Valentine’s Day, today and every day after.