I’m Too Skinny For This Blog.

What I am about to share is my own experience. I’d also bet my life, and my afterlife, that it has been yours too.

Last Saturday night, while blasting the Salt-N-Pepa station on Pandora, I took one last look in the mirror before heading to a party. My hair was the right amount of tousled. My slip dress and satin smoking jacket were on point. My black Vans howled, “whimsical comfort” at the super moon. I was red lipstick ready and eager to Shoop-oop-a-doop.

Upon arrival, I was ushered onto the private deck of a beachside bar. Think bungalow’s, bartenders, a decadent spread of food, and hilarious friends. And yet, the following thoughts tsunami’ed into my brain:

So and So’s dress is more fetching than mine. I’m frumpy. What’s Her Face’s heels are so flattering. My sneakers make me look like a teenaged boy. That Girl’s makeup is so sophisticated. My gold glitter smacks of ‘unemployed art teacher’.

And on and on and on… 

Did I realize that I could admire someone else’s style without it detracting from my own? Of course not. Intellect and Reason were not on the guest list. What I did do, however, saved my sinking spirits nonetheless.

For the rest of the night I spoke and acted like I was everything I wanted to be. I said things like, “I better have another slider. I’m getting too skinny.” Then I ate a second slider. And a quesadilla. Instead of moaning about what a pig I am (not fun party talk) I went on about how I’m bulking up for winter because if one more person tell me how thin I am… I called attention to how seductive I smell, how everyone is obsessed with my beauty, and how compelling I am.

Even though I was joking, the energy inside my body shifted from heavy to light. I’m not kidding. I was suddenly buoyant. Then my friend Jill jumped on board. Soon we were cracking up and trying to out-brag each other. It was such a welcomed change from the Self-Loathing station we usually play. And the physical shift was undeniable.

So, next time your dial is set to Self-Loathe, change the station. Tell everyone how fabulous you are. You’ll feel better, you’ll get a laugh, and you’ll really enjoy that second slider. Because you, my friend, need to eat something. You’re wasting away.






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  • Myriah Trotsenko says:

    Hey Lisi, I loved the clique series and was wondering if you could continue the story as the pretty comiteee in highschool. I miss the stories.

    xo -Myriah Trotsenko

  • myriaj says:

    Hey Lisi, I loved the clique series and was wondering if you could continue the story as the pretty comiteee in highschool. I miss the stories.

    xo -Myriah Trotsenko

  • Anita says:

    Yes Lisi, I agree. That is why I pigged out this Christmas, I am too skinny and too pretty to not stuff my face with great food lol. I do feel like I need to be rolled out the door but I survived. What a fun post, thank you for that and I hope you had a great Christmas

  • Deserae says:

    Merry Christmas, Lisi~

  • Lauren says:

    Haha, this post was awesome to read. You are beautiful, Lisi! I’m glad you turned your night around with your friends and had fun “bragging” to each other. People always say I’m too skinny too. But I don’t let it bother me.

    Keep inspiring us with your writing <3
    – L

  • Kayla says:

    Wouldn’t bragging about yourself make everybody think that you are a jerk? And self-obsessed?

  • Kiana says:

    Ha ha, this was funny to read as well as enjoyable! I’m glad you found a positive, alternative solution. I also get told many times on how skinny I am. Totally felt like the last two sentences were directed at me. (Of course that’s not possible.) And the funny title. 😂

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