- Know your Value. Yes, it’s easy to feel like a dork when you’re trolling for a buddy. You’re all, “I hope they like me,” about everyone you meet, caring more about them accepting you than you accepting them. But keep that up and you’ll be buying friendship rings for back-stabbers by Friday. So make a list of five awesome things you have you to offer your FBFF (Future BFF) and keep that front and center while you’re trolling. Remember, they have to be worthy of YOU. In other words, don’t give the friend milk away for free.
- Manifesty your Bestie. Now make a list of what you want in a friend. Interests, values, attitudes, sense of humor, level of athleticism… whatever five things matter to you. When you meet a potential candidate ask yourself how many boxes they check on your list. Anything less than four out of five and you should delete them from your cart. Think I’m being harsh? Re-read #1.
- Be the Bee. When I moved from New York City to Laguna Beach I didn’t know a single person. Long story short, I started a Dirty Book Club and I was never lonely again. That’s a very simplistic version but the point is I went after it. I found an activity that I thought was fun and I built a club around it. That’s right, instead of waiting to be invited, I did the inviting. It gave me a sense of control over the people I wanted to be with and the activities I wanted to do. So start a book club, a hiking club, a comic book club, and baking club…whatever you feel passionate about. Invite a few people and start make memories. Warning: If you become a controlling snot I will hunt you down. This is about bonding not bossing.
- Don’t Be The Bird. There’s a bird outside the window of my sunroom that needs some serious therapy. Every morning she knocks her tiny bird skull into the glass and tries to get in. This has yet to work and she has yet to give up. Some might call that perseverance. (Mostly, stalkers.) But I call it a massive waste of time and a headache waiting to happen. So ask yourself, are you the bird, trying to get into a clique that’s closed? If so, quit wasting your time. Look for open windows instead: school clubs, sports teams, acting lessons, karate lessons, photography classes…if you’re banging your head trying to get in, you’re in the wrong place.
- Be Likeable. Not a kiss-ass or a pushover, just likable. Smile. Act interested. Laugh. Don’t gossip. Be kind. Be patient. Be the kind of person your FBFF would put on her list.