Boobs and Bathingsuits

Hello there. I was hoping that title would get your attention.

Okay fine, I’ll own it. I dropped the Blah-g yesterday. I’m sorry. But I happened to be inside this theater attending an ah-mazing concert and I didn’t have time to post.

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If you don’t know this band of three badass and extremely talented sisters, make it your business to get to know them. Not at this exact second, but the moment you finish reading this.

The other thing that consumed me yesterday was my research for The Dirty Book Club. The novel is set in present-day California, but there are a lot of flashbacks. The one I am working on now takes place in 1973 so I ordered a bunch of archived magazines from that time so I could get a feel for pop culture and fashion during that era.

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This is what I learned…

1) Swimsuit models didn’t have to spend their salaries on boobs. Flat was where it was at. Much sexier if you ask me.

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2) One dollar went a long way. SPOILER ALERT: Sheridan Spencer reads How To Be Your Own Best Friend in Pretenders 2: License To Spill (June 2014). See it down there?

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3) Jell-O mold = “Nutrition.”

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4) Photos weren’t shopped. Models had facial movement when they smiled and their skin tones weren’t even. The horror!

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5) This cigarette ad is my favorite. Not only does it look like that guy is once inch away from setting his shag rug on fire, and not only do the tracks on his corduroy pants look like they have been raked in a Zen garden, but there is something in this photo that defies all logic. Can you figure out what it is?

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Try. Really try. But if you are too impatient because you want to go and download Haim ,check the bottom of this blog for the answer.

 

TTYW,

Lisi

 

(Their cigarettes are lit but no smoke. Man, the ’70s were a magical time.)

Guest Post on the Office Elf Blog – Writer’s Life

Lisi is submerged in The Dirty Book Club so I’ve written you all another novel-length guest blog post over on the Office Elf blog. One of the blog commenters, Kimberly, asked me a few questions about my own creative path and how I came to work with Lisi. Read about the adventures toils mundane experiences career path of one young writer here.

Lisi will return next week!

xx

Alisha, Office Elf

 

POP QUIZ

Pop Culture Junkie

If there is one thing my adoring fans always want to know it’s, “Lisi, why do you look so much older than your real age of eighteen?” If there is one more thing it’s, “Your books are always full of pop culture references. How do you manage to keep up?”

While I can’t make sense of premature aging, I can tell you how I keep a firm grip on all things shallow and trivial. Her name is Alisha. She is my much appreciated office elf. And one of her many responsibilities is to generate what I call The Pop Doc. It’s a weekly round up of pop culture news and it’s FAB!! Instead of wasting time trolling the web for the latest scandals and outrages, Alisha does it for me. Then she compiles her findings into a lovely document and emails it to me. Awesome, right?

My latest Pop Doc (week of March 26th) was a great one. One that left me wondering if I am now the queen of all useless knowledge, behind the curve, or at one with the general public. So I am going to quiz you to see what you know.

Good luck.

1. Justin Bieber was awarded the honor of Juno Fan Choice Award for the fourth year in a row, but chose not to attend to accept the award. When his name was announced, it was overshadowed by a chorus of boos from the crowd. The last time he was booed at an awards show was _________ ?

2. ___________  is joining “The Voice.” The show made the announcement on Monday via Twitter. _____ will rotate in for season 7, following ______’s exit.

3.  Who is launching a new fragrance called “That Moment“?

4. The new book series, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a spin-off of which not-very-popular-and-not-well-known existing series?

5. Which celebrity couple just announced their separation?

 

Go to Alisha’s Office Elf blog for answers and the rest of the story.

Leave me a comment and let me know how you did.

 

TTYW,

Lisi

 

Quit For Brains

One of the biggest pieces of advice I give aspiring writers is to outline. And yet here I am completely free-styling this blah-g because I have nothing to say today. Don’t take it personally, my current manuscript is also feeling the chill. It’s just one of those weeks where I find myself struggling. Words are sticky. Ideas are hiding. My internal settings are on slo-mo and I can’t seem to get them back to kick-ass.

Do you think that makes me doubt my career choice? Question my ability to make my looming deadline? Make me wish I could get that clothing airstream I’ve always dreamed of and walk off the job?

YES! YES IT DOES.

And so I will quit. I will stop writing because I have nothing interesting to say. I will also stop because the word “interesting” is one of the least descriptive words in the world and I just used it. In public. So this is me quitting. Bye. Of course, I will be back at my desk tomorrow. Because I’m responsible and not the beneficiary of a trust fund? Maybe. Because I don’t have an airstream? Given. But mostly because talent doesn’t make a writer good. Desire does. And I have plenty of that. Starting tomorrow.

How was that for an off-the-top-of-my-head riff. Did I just compose jazz?

TTYW,

Lisi

 

HELP WANTED

How to Fit in By Standing Out

A few weeks ago I went snowboarding in Park City, Utah. Am I good? I suppose for someone who goes once every few years, was born with hyper-flexible legs, and has been described as “floppy” I can hold my own. Rather, I was holding my own until day two when I fell and saw my ankle snap. Yes, saw. I had a white flash moment where the pain was so acute I had X-Ray access to my internals and actually witnessed the damage as it was being done.

While the rest of my group glided into the lift line for another run, I limped to the parking lot–board in hand, pride beneath my heavy boot. Oh, and I cried. I did. I was so over being the one with the mysterious bruise or sliding knee-cap, the one who still can’t do a cartwheel or a handstand without a wall. The first one injured and the last one healed.

Once I got to the car I forced myself to stop crying. I had no choice. Mom always said, “You have five minutes to cry and feel sorry for yourself. After that, dry your eyes and make things better.” So I slid on my cozy boots, grabbed my journal, and went to the restaurant. It was crowded so I put our name on the list for lunch and wrote while I waited for everyone to return.

When the group came off the slopes they were cold and hungry and way too cranky to wait forty-five minutes for a table. Lucky for them they didn’t have to. The moment they arrived we were seated, thanks to me.

And that’s when it struck me. There will always be times in your life when you can’t keep up with the group, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring something to the table. It just means you have to find another way to make yourself useful. And there’s always a way. For example:

Hate drinking but you hang with the party crowd? Be the designated driver. (They’ll LOVE you.)

Can’t snowboard but all your friends do? Shoot the video. (Note: this applies for almost every sport except maybe jogging. In which case meet your friends at the finish line with a bottle of water and join them for the cool down.)

You’re the only single one in the group? Don’t be a downer just because your dream guy hasn’t found you yet. Have fun. Become a wardrobe stylist. Help them pick out date outfits and do their hair.

Not a fan of boy bands but your friends are obsessed? Make mash-ups… your favorites and theirs. The heads of your favorites on the bodies of theirs. Playlists that include everyone’s obsessions. Or hit music festivals where there’s something for everyone. If none of the above works, try earplugs.

My point is instead of hating yourself for not being like everyone else, make your differences work for you… and them. Our true value lies in our individuality, not our similarities. Now stop that crying and go make yourself matter.

TTYW,

Lisi

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