Back when I was in school, nothing depressed me more than Sunday evening. The Canadian world outside my bedroom window was dark, cold, and still. The only light seemed to come from my desk lamp which cast a judgmental glow on the leaning tower of binders that had yet to be cracked. I was either exhausted from a sleepover or mourning the lack of messages from my latest crush. I also suffered from S.H.S. or Sudden Hate Syndrome–the fear of being despised on Monday for no reason. And then there was that homework. As much as I begged, it simply refused to do itself.
On Monday everything was fine. But that Sunday night sadness always returned, bringing with it a …
It’s awn my friends!! I’m hitting the road this week with a fresh pen and a fading tan to spread the word about Pretenders. I’ll tell you all about the new series, I’ll sign, I’ll pose, I’ll say inappropriate things by accident, give away SWAP bracelets, Pretenders pens, and oodles of love.
Got homework? Pretend it’s done. #Wearepretenders
Got practice? Pretend you have cramps. #Wearepretenders
Got no ride? Pretend you have to buy an important book for school (#Wearepretenders) and tell the most gullible licensed driver you know to take you to…
Do you have a flair for drama? Do you turn to celebrities and fashion mags for inspiration? If at first you don’t succeed do you try-try again?
Yes? That’s you? Well then, your Pretender Personality is Sheridan. You like to channel different personas to fit your mood and agenda, which makes fashion one of your greatest assets. Wearing a fab outfit will give you confidence to talk to that crush, ace that test, or sweet-talk your parents into lifting that embarrassing curfew. So if you’re updating your costume closet and eager to trend like #AmericanHorrorStory, add the following five things to cart.
Today is the day, my friends!!!! I am so excited to share this novel with you. Finally!!! This is why I am posting today instead of my usual Wednesday. I seriously can’t be contained. I have lived with these secrets long enough. I must share.
Being a Pretender is lonely. Like in a superhero sort of way. You have this public persona and then this whole other thing going on internally and if you’re any good at it, no one knows. You must become your own best friend. Your own voice of reason. And most importantly, your own photographer. Stay calm little P’s. My Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfiewill help. At least …