Dear EhMaFraud #2

What does every fraud want? That’s right, to be taken seriously. And you ladies have taken my desire to dish out advice very seriously. I thank you from the bottom of my artificial heart. This week’s question comes from Sarah. I chose it because I can relate to it in a MASSIVE way.

Dear EhMahFraud,
I’m a freshman in high school, and have been working really hard all year to do well in school. It’s been working, I’m a strait A student, but I’m finding I have no time for anything else. When I do get the chance to go out and DO stuff, I just worry about not getting my homework done and stay home instead. I feel like I’m missing out on everything. My friends have gotten distant, and its almost like I forget how to interact with people. (I know, I sound like such a nerd living in my basement.) I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I don’t know how to balance a social life with school! Help!

Dear Sarah,

I am nawt kidding when I say I have the EXACT same problem as you. So much so that I had to hire a professional named Candace to help me deal. I, like you, have put a lot of pressure on myself to hit my deadlines and write bestselling novels. I equate that with your drive to get straight A’s. Congratulations on that by the way. What an incredible accomplishment!!

In order for me to achieve my goals I have to say no to a lot of people most of the time. I have had to smile through recaps of great beach days that I couldn’t be a part of. If I do go out I am usually the first one to leave so I can be fresh for work the next day.  I have seen friends move on. I go through phases when I get really bummed out because I’m missing out on everything. And I know that’s how you feel too. Everyone who pushes themselves to excel shares our feelings. It’s lonely when you have lofty goals. So what’s a hard-core girl to do? Here are a few things Candace taught me. They changed my life.

1. First, know that you work this hard because you are passionate about (writing, straight A’s, sports, dance…)  You are lucky to have this passion and should continue to honor it. You love what you do and are successful because you have devoted so much time to it. Would you feel fulfilled if you gave it all up to hang out with friends? Would you? I wouldn’t.

2. When it feels like you’re saying “no” too often, write a letter. Don’t email, send it in the mail. It’s more meaningful and sincere. Tell your friend how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life. Explain that you are on a mission to (insert goal here) and that knowing they support you means everything. I’ve been doing that lately. My friends think I’m crazy. They tell me they knew all this and that I didn’t have to write it. But deep down inside I know it made us both feel better.

3. Designate one day per week as a no-work day. No matter what you can’t do homework. For me that’s Wednesdays. This is my day to blog, pay bills, have lunch with a friend, catch up on emails, get a hair cut…whatever. Giving yourself permission to take a day off will give you a sense of balance. It’s a day for friends, family, and you. Make plans with people you miss. It will help you feel connected and a part of things. If you can designate two days and still reach your goals, go for it. Make it the same day each week. This helps you stick to it.

4. Those who don’t get invited, host. And if they don’t they should. Host a monthly sleepover. Start a book club. Organize a clothes swap. A movie night. Whatever. The point is to host an affair that allows you to be socially efficient. Instead of making five sets of plans host everyone at once.

5. Remind yourself that your goal is an incredible one. Sacrifices are part of success. And you’re doing this because you can’t imagine doing anything else. It’s your ego that’s making you feel like you’re missing out. Your heart is happy. And that ticker is what keeps you alive so keep giving it what it wants. Except on your day off, of course.

Thanks for all of your questions. Keep ’em coming.

I’m listening.

 

listening

 

 

 

 

TTYW,

Lisi

EhMaFraud.

Have you ever heard the term “Fraud Complex?” Nine out of eight writers are born with it every day. Symptoms include self-doubt, envying ‘real writers,’ and internal voices screaming, “You are a fake. You don’t know how to punctuate. Stop trying to fool people with your trite musings. And please stop kidding yourself!”

It’s painful. And what’s worse? Mine is spreading. I am about to address your questions, none of which have anything to do with writing. I will give my opinion and dole out advice. All while silencing the voices that keep telling me I have no idea what I’m talking about. Although these ones might be right.

Dreamerhogwartsbeliever on Tumblr asked: If you could cast any young stars on the Hollywood scene at the moment for the second Clique movie, who would you pick? (Not including the girls from the first movie).

Emma RobertsEmma Roberts as Massie

 

 

 

 

Karley Scott Collins Karley Scott Collins as Claire.

 

 

 

 

selena gomezSelena Gomez as Alicia.

 

 

 

bella thorne   Bella Thorne as Dylan.

 

 

 

HELP!!!!!! I have spent the last HOUR trying to cast Kristen. ANY IDEAS???
A young Blake Livley is where my heads at.

Noah CyrusNoah Cyrus as Layne. (LOVE THIS ONE!)

 

 

 

2. Lauren Hass on Twitter asks: What was the dream career that you wanted when you were a little kid?!

EhMaFraud: You’re looking at it. (When you’re reading one of my novels.)

 

3. Julia from my Blah-g comments asks: You and Kevy and married, correct? Or do you just live together and are in looovvee?

EhMaFraud: Yes we are married. But I prefer to call him my life-crush. It sounds more exciting.

 

4.  From Kathy off my blah-g comments:

On Sunday my grade went on a field trip for a couple days with kids from another campus my school is associated with. I know the kids from there, we were together in primary. One of the girls there (code name Anabelle) was one of my friends from the school. But during the trip she did something really mean to me and I have no idea why.
Here’ what happened. She was talking to all my guy friends and keeping them away from me just to piss me off and make me jealous (excuse my language in this comment, I’m just really mad at the girl). I don’t know what I’ve ever done to make her want to hurt me, but for some reason she did. We went out to dinner one night, and there was just one friend of mine who was making our table the best one to be at, it was soooo much fun!! But than Anabelle was like, “oh can I talk to you?” so he went over to her table. She kept him there for a really long time. Then when he left, she said “what else can I do to make Kathy jealous?” A friend of mine that was at her table told me about it.
I’ve never done anything to hurt her and it really pisses me off that she’d do something like that to me. I felt like walking up to her and telling her she was a b!tch, but I didn’t. I thought I’d tell her over e-mail but I decided no to. I want to get revenge over her but I know it would be wrong. I don’t know what to do. I know I’m mad and that she shouldn’t be able to get away with it that easily, but I don’t know how I can get back at her with out acting like a total b!tch myself. I don’t wanna sink to her level.

This is a REALLY long comment and it means the world to me if you read it.
Any advice? I’d love to hear your say in the matter!!”

EhMaFraud: Kathy, few things hurt more than a friend turning on you, especially when you don’t know why. I understand the urge to fight back and hurt her the way she hurt you. Believe me, I do. But even a fake advice giver like myself can see that she’s trying to get a reaction out of you. So the best way to get her back is to ignore her. Imagine an invisible bubble around yourself and don’t let her in. The more she tries to penetrate the thicker your bubble gets. It may seem like you’re taking the easy way out but ignoring takes more strength than calling someone names. And please do NOT email anything to her. Emails can be changed, forwarded, posted, and used for evil. Write everything you WANT to say to her in a private journal, then say nothing. And remember, bubble up for safety!

Please label all future inquiries to Ask EhMaFraud and I will do my best to answer them.

TTYW,

Lisi

Proud Fraud Complex survivor since 2001.

Happy New Ears!

Hello my friends!

Thank you so much for your photo feedback. The majority of you chose #2 Sassy Smirk as my author pic for Pretenders so get used to this mug staring back at you for the next four books. Lisi-2013-252

It’s a lock.

After I posted last week’s Blah-g I hit Highway 1 for a road trip. The ultimate goal was Santa Cruz–about 8 hours north of Laguna Beach because Kevy, my life-crush, needed surgery. He had a sporty condition called, “surfer’s ear.” It’s what hawt guys get from spending too much time surfing in cold oceans. The water gets trapped inside their ears which causes bone to grow over the drum and ….zzzzz… Sorry, I’ll get to the good stuff. They had to remove the extra bone or he’d go deaf.

What? An extra cone went to the ref? 

NO! I SAID, “REMOVE THE EXTRA BONE OR HE’D GO DEAF!”

Sorry. I have surfer’s ear. Ever heard of it? (No pun intended.)

Anyway, we decided to drive the California coast and make a trip out of it. IMG_4775

We saw beached seals along the way. IMG_4694

And BeeBee tried to copy them.  IMG_4827

Our first stop was a dome shaped cabin in Big Sur surrounded by redwoods. It’s called the Jewel House and it was ah-mazing.

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The owner is a magical artist named Sofanya. She left us easels and paints and told us to express ourselves. So Kevy and I co-painted this. IMG_4809The headlamp, however was all his idea. He also painted the dome house. IMG_4888Not bad for a headlamp wearing guy with surfer’s ear. But the true magic was found in my coffee. I poured some milk in my cup and then two seconds later this dude floated to the top. He looks like Frosty the Snowman. How crazy is that??? IMG_4819 IMG_4820We left for Santa Cruz on Sunday and passed a few more noteworthy attractions along the way. IMG_4834IMG_4913

I am pleased to report that Kevy’s surgery was a success.

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He even found a “perfect” log for our backyard. He wants to drill it into the ground and string lights to it and…zzz…

The bad news is he got poison oak while we were hiking and was miserable for the entire 8 hour drive back. IMG_4925

The good news? He’s still deaf from the surgery (and will be for another few days) so I listened to all the playlists he HATES!

WHAT? YOU KISSED SOME OF YOUR DATES?

(That too. Shhhh)

TTYW,

Lisi

Photo Bomb!

How was the BOYFAST????? Do tell.

It’s Spring Break for a lot of you right now and since spring weather hasn’t sprung for most of us I’ve decided to focus on the break part. That means no blah-g reading for you and no blah-g writing for me. That doesn’t mean you’re totally free though. I still need you so sit back down and focus.

I have to put a new author photo on the Pretenders series and I need help. Which one do you like? I HATE posing more than I hate cardio. So you can only imagine how painful this was for me. Be nice.

Lisi-2013-248Lisi-2013-252Lisi-first-pass-194 Lisi-2013-327

Here’s what we’ll call them:

#1- Who Invited The Serious Author?

#2-Sassy Smirk.

#3- Romance, Party of One.

#4- The Goober That I Am.

I’d love your feedback, since you are my inner circle.

TTYW,

Lisi