Monthly Archives: May 2015

The Teat of Technology Part 2

Hey Good Looking,

(Yeah, I’m talking to you.)

Last week I gave you a list of ten reasons why those of you born in 2000 and beyond have it easier than those of us who are, as old people like to say, wiser. Well, now it’s my turn to gloat.

The following are ten ways that pre-millennials had it better.

1) Prank Calls. We got to make ’em, got to answer ’em, and we laughed our abs into six-packs because of ’em. Nothing brought more hilarity to a sleepover than dialing up random people or our crushes and messing with them over the phone. Unless the victim recognized our voices (most of us mastered the art of disguise), we got …

The Teat of Technology part 1


I hope you all had a great long weekend.

What did I do, you ask? I drove to Palm Springs with my friend Elaine to celebrate her birthday. If this picture proves anything it’s that you can take the girl out of Laguna Beach but you can’t keep her from dropping a french fry in her bellybutton. That’s me on the right admiring my accuracy. And yes, of course I shared it with Elaine. It was her birthday.

Palm springs

Anyway, we got to talking about how different life was when we were in high school (1980s)  compared to life in high school now (2000 and beyond). And we came up with two lists: We Had It Worse Because… AND  We …


Hello my friends!

As promised I have attached a photo of last week’s extraction.

Still Life: Dead Rat.


My apologies to those of you who would have preferred I show the unbagged version of what lay decomposing under my house. Believe me, I would have loved to. But I have a line–it’s thick and bold and drawn at a “dead rodent teeming with maggots”. Even the professional was dry heaving.

I do wish I had the temperament of sociopath–if only for the time needed to photograph and post the vile creature, because a teaching moment was lost. Mother Nature went to town on this beast and I am censoring her work. So I would like to teach something else so …

32 is the new 50!

It happens.

Last Wednesday to be specific.

I was feeling low. Uninspired. A little unloved. A lot human. I had been thinking of the old days–when each of my blog postings would yield thousands of comments. You discussed them. You made friends. We were a community. A clique. And now? Notsomuch.

That’s okay. Times change. People grow. I read The Giving Tree. I know how life works. As long as you’re out there I’m all good. Truly. You inspire me. Being reminded that my words matter to you is everything. Not in a needy, desperate way. More out of wanting to connect.

Because the comments have dropped so dramatically I was convinced that your interest had too. Then I …

To Blah-G or Not to Blah-g…

Hey you,

We’ve been together for what–twelve years now? During that time I’ve posted over 1000 blahgs and written 31 books that many of you have read. I’d say that gives us real relationship status. And as we all know open and honest communication is essential to a healthy relationship. So here is goes: Would you miss my Blah-g’s if I stopped posting for a while? Just long enough for me to finish writing The Dirty Book Club, then I’ll be back?

If I receive 50 comments in the next week asking me to continue I will. And I’ll do it with gusto. If not, I will assume you want to play the field for a while so we will …