Banned Books Have More Fun

banned books week

What does a book have to do to get banned? For censors, it’s usually that the content is too controversial. Maybe the book isn’t exactly “age appropriate.” Fortunately, the best way to sell a book is to ban it first. We are in the midst of Banned Books Week, the annual celebration of the freedom to read. From coast to coast bibliophiles are fighting against censorship and pushing for their right to read… anything they want. I’m in full support. So much so that I’m putting myself on blast and posting my favorite controversial book. Judy Blume’s Forever…

Blume is best known for her Young Adult fiction so this may come as a surprise, but over the last 40 years her books have been banned or challenged dozens of times over. In fact, Forever… is among some of the most frequently challenged books at libraries since its publishing. Blume’s novels were groundbreaking and went where other YA authors never dreamed. Several of her books are on the list of all-time best selling children’s books and she’s earned too many awards to count, possibly thanks to censorship itself. Forever… is truly ah-mazing but whatever you do, DON’T read it… You’ve been warned.

 

forever

Next week I’ll be posting a video of me reading my favorite excerpt out of Forever… 

TTYW,

Lisi

Don’t Rush the Crush

Not even my looming Dirty Book Club deadline can keep me from responding to all of your Q&A submissions, except for possibly overlooking them in the comments section. I’ve answered my way through most of your questions (can you believe it?), but if I’ve somehow skipped yours, comment it below so I can give you the attention you deserve.

Today’s blah-g post goes out to Kiki. Here’s what she asked:

Dear lisi,
Lisi you always give the best advice… So I’m having some boy trouble.
There is this guy at my school who I have liked for a while and I just realized that he and one of my friends have a ‘thing’ going on, he likes her and she likes him. And so I’m trying to move on and there is this other guy in my school who is continuously flirting with me and everyone thinks he likes me. So Like any other teenage girl I’m following the advice from all the cliche high school movies where the girl was so obsessed with one guy that she didnt see the perfectly good one standing right in front of her, and I refuse to be one if those girls. So I WOULD totally make a move for it if this guy wasn’t my best friends crush 😁😁😁. WHAT SHOULD I DOOO!!!
-yours truly,
Kiki

Kiki, I am here to come to your aid, although you’ve already answered half of the question yourself. My advice to you is simple: keep stepping away from the crush. I know it’s incredibly disappointing when a long-time crush remains unrequited because he develops eyes for someone else, especially a friend in your circle. But your instincts were spot on when you decided to start moving on and opening up your sights for someone more available. Things get messy when you pine over a boy your friend might be dating, so don’t do that to yourself. It won’t be easy. You might feel a pang in your heart when you see them together, but let it be a reminder you’ve got a heart that works, and then give it to someone who deserves it.

You’ve got options. Is this new flirtatious boy someone you think you could truly like? Or is it just his interest in you that’s intriguing? If it’s the former, then problem solved. Get to know him and see where things go. Maybe you’ve met your match. But if he’s only on your radar now because you’re in boyfriend-hunting mode and the crush didn’t work out, I advise you to step away from this boy, too. He won’t be any consolation until you’ve completely moved your heart on from your soon-to-be former crush. Take your time. There’s no rush. People throw out this cliche because there’s truth in it: it’s when you stop looking that you find what you need.

Hope that helps!

TTYW,

Lisi

 

 

FREE BALL

I received a message from Dani yesterday with a question that’s so blah-g worthy, you’ll feel like you’ve asked it yourself. That’s because many of you have, and it has to do with moving on after a relationship ends.

Here’s what Dani said about her situation:

Hi Lisi! You always give the most ah-mayzing advice…and I could really use some. So, I’m a competitive high school bowler, and so is my ex. I have to be with him about 3, sometimes 4 days a week and its been really tough on me and my bowling game. The break-up is still fresh and came out of no where and its just really hit me now, I think I was in denial for a little while. It’s giving me major anxiety to the point where I don’t even want to leave the house. Any advice of forgetting him and focusing on myself and my girls?

Thank you!
Love,
Dani

1) Laugh your balls off: Dani, in the world of bowlers you are now considered a free-baller. I know I should probably SPARE your feelings and lay off the jokes but sometimes making fun of those moments in life when we STRIKE out can help. So try to keep a sense of humor when you can and see how many other bowling terms you and your friends can come up with to describe your feelings surrounding this break-up. It might feel like a corny exercise but at least you’ll be laughing. Let me know what they are.

2) Channel surf: Make like Sheridan Spencer from Pretenders and channel a focused bowler who also happens to be seriously over this breakup. That’s right, fake it. Get into character before the game and act. I used to do that in high school in front of my crush after he dumped me. I would cry ever night but at school I acted like I had never been happier. It freaked him out and I got some joy from that. Your game will improve and so will your mood–at least until you get home.

3) Journal: Write about your sadness. This is the place for drama so let it rip. You can also write about the qualities you want in your next crush and ask yourself honestly how many of those qualities this guy had. Or write letters to the future love of your life. Talk to your next boyfriend like he really exists. Manifest him.

4) Put gum on the bottom of his bowling shoes: Yep, that’s what I said.

5) Focus: Part of being an athlete is tuning out the world and outside distractions. I’m not an athlete but I know one and I happen to have a lot of distractions. I downloaded The Art of Mental Training by D.C. Gonzalez and I listen to it on my phone when I need to get in the zone. There are a ton of helpful tips about staying focused and playing your best game. I believe his philosophies could apply to the dating game as well.

Now go bust some balls!!

TTYW,
Lisi

Boy Bound

Q&A

I’ve received a number of comments and messages from readers having trouble in the crush department. So today I’m addressing Lily in hopes it will shed some light on a few of the situations I’ve read in your questions.

Here’s what Lily said:

Hi Lisi!! ur advice helped me a lot!! from ur guy advice to having a better self esteem! love you! i have a problem tho… i like this guy who i guess i talk to sometimes. but he tells me he doesn’t like anyone, so im afraid that i cant ‘catch his attention’! we’ve ‘bantered’ and people constantly say we’d b a good couple but i dont know how to get him to like me! I’m too shy to step up and ask him too.

Lily, first, my heart goes out to you. It’s not easy waiting around on a crush to make his move. I will cut to the chase–he may not make it. At least not right now. I’ve alluded before to the simplicity of the male brain and how it’s almost like a mini vacation writing from the POV of Duffy and Jagger in my Pretenders series. That might be a little harsh, but boys are certainly more straightforward in their thinking than we are. While us girls are layered in complex thoughts and emotions happening simultaneously, guys home in on a singular goal, whether that’s making the basketball team, doing well in school, figuring out how to solve a problem–you get the idea. I’m not saying one way is better than the other; the approaches are just different. You might be thinking that when your crush said he doesn’t like anyone he was fibbing a bit and it’s only be a matter of time before he confesses who he has feelings for (hopefully you!). But there’s a very good chance when he said he doesn’t have eyes for anyone in particular right now, he meant it. Don’t waste too much time trying to analyze everything else around the situation. If a guy likes you, he will be sure to let you know it. Again, his focus will be entirely on you as you are now the target prize.

For now, his attention might be on his grades or his friends and that’s perfectly fine. My advice is to keep bantering in a lighthearted way when you do see each other. Be his friend. Develop a connection slowly, but without expectation for an end result. I know that’s difficult, but give it a try. If something transpires in the future–great. If not, journal about it. Get all of your complex, simultaneous thoughts and feelings down on the page so you have a safe place to vent. In the meantime, don’t tie yourself down to the belief that your current crush is the only boy available to you. Keep living your life and having fun with your friends, but keep your eyes open. If your gaze is fixated on the one boy who isn’t coming your way, you might miss the cute, exciting guy who’s been interested in you all along. You’re bound to find him.

Hope that helps.

TTYW,

Lisi