2013 - Page 2 of 5 - Lisi Harrison

California, Here I Come

October 14, 2013 | 17 Comments

It’s awn my friends!! I’m hitting the road this week with a fresh pen and a fading tan to spread the word about Pretenders. I’ll tell you all about the new series, I’ll sign, I’ll pose, I’ll say inappropriate things by accident, give away SWAP bracelets, Pretenders pens, and oodles of love.

Got homework? Pretend it’s done. #Wearepretenders

Got practice? Pretend you have cramps. #Wearepretenders

Got no ride? Pretend you have to buy an important book for school (#Wearepretenders) and tell the most gullible licensed driver you know to take you to…

Tuesday, October 15th

Barnes & Noble

7881 Edinger Ave.

Huntington Beach, CA

7pm – 9pm

Wednesday, October 16

Mrs. Nelsons Toy and Book Shop

1030 Bonita Ave.

La …

The Fashion Channel: A Pretenders Guide to Fashion Trends

October 9, 2013 | 8 Comments

Forgive me for prying but:

Do you have a flair for drama? Do you turn to celebrities and fashion mags for inspiration? If at first you don’t succeed do you try-try again?

Yes? That’s you? Well then, your Pretender Personality is Sheridan. You like to channel different personas to fit your mood and agenda, which makes fashion one of your greatest assets. Wearing a fab outfit will give you confidence to talk to that crush, ace that test, or sweet-talk your parents into lifting that embarrassing curfew. So if you’re updating your costume closet and eager to trend like #AmericanHorrorStory, add the following five things to cart.

Channel Katy Perry and ROAR with leopard print.

Channel Dorothy and get yourself …

Selfie-Help: A Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfie

October 1, 2013 | 21 Comments

First a word from our sponsor…

Today is the day, my friends!!!! I am so excited to share this novel with you. Finally!!! This is why I am posting today instead of my usual Wednesday. I seriously can’t be contained. I have lived with these secrets long enough. I must share.

Being a Pretender is lonely. Like in a superhero sort of way. You have this public persona and then this whole other thing going on internally and if you’re any good at it, no one knows. You must become your own best friend. Your own voice of reason. And most importantly, your own photographer. Stay calm little P’s. My Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfie will help. At least …

Fake It to the Limit

September 25, 2013 | 15 Comments

Thanks to all of you who joined me in the lounge yesterday. It was a blast!!! I’m sorry about the technical difficulties, but you can watch the webcast here.

We’ve all heard the phrase, fake it ’til you make it. But these master pretenders started after they made it. Or maybe fame gave them the means to become the people they were truly meant to be. It’s impossible to know. If only we had their journals…

5. Snooki from MTV’s Jersey ShoreFrom naughty to hottie.

4. Miley Cyrus

From ah-dore to hard core.

3. Justin Timberlake

From rapper to dapper.

2. Heidi Montag of MTV’s Laguna Beach

From girl-next-door to door-knockers.

1. Lady Gaga, queen of pretending

From …

It’s Time We Had “The Talk”

September 18, 2013 | 85 Comments

Hey, do you have a second? …It’s nothing major, just that, you know, we’ve been hanging out for like, 10 years now and… while I think this weekly Blah-g thing is great, it’s starting to feel a little, I dunno, been-there-done-that… No, I’m not trying to end things. Actually, it’s the opposite. I was hoping we could have a real chat, like where I see your face and you see mine. Eyes blinking, mouths moving. Just us being us in real eastern / pacific standard time.

What do you say? Can we at least try it once and see how it goes?

Shhhhhh. Don’t speak. I’ll leave you with the details and you can think about it. But don’t think …

Humble-Blah-gging

September 11, 2013 | 23 Comments

Humble Bragging = Bragging about yourself while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example: I wrote the first two Clique books while working at MTV but when Best Friends for Never debuted at #7 on the New York Times Bestseller list I was forced to quit and write full time. Suddenly life became very lonely. It was awful.

Humble Blah-gging = Blah-gging about your new series while couching it in a phony show of humility.

Example:

Wow! I am seriously spacey. I didn’t even realize I was holding the pens that promote my highly anticipated new series, Pretenders. Someone had to point it out to me. I must be losing my mind. Medic!

You know me. It’s …

#WeArePretenders

September 5, 2013 | 10 Comments

I, Lisi Harrison, am a Pretender. I have ventured beyond my limitations in a playful way. I have spray tanned, batted false eyelashes, dyed my hair, worn a water bra, and jammed my gut into SPANX! I’ve performed live concerts for invisible crowds and faked my period to get out of swim class. I’ve said it’s not him, it’s me when it was him and I’ve used a fake I.D. to vote. I’ve even claimed to use a fake I.D. to vote when it was really to rent a vehicle. I mean a bike. I mean… fine, I tried alcohol before I was 21. Kidding. It was to vote.

Aside from making up characters, dialogue and stories for a living, …

New Year’s Leave

September 4, 2013 | 6 Comments

It’s the Jewish New Year and I am late for dinner. Oy! Not a very good start if you ask me. I have a half-written blah-g saved as a draft, which I will finish the minute I get into the office tomorrow. I promise. It’s full of confessions and one big embarrassing secret about me. And no, the secret isn’t that I dropped the blah-g ball today. That’s not a secret. You already know that.

Shoot. Gotta run.

Shalom out.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Lisi

…

Photographic Memory

August 28, 2013 | 17 Comments

Two amazing things happened last week while I was visiting my family in Toronto. Okay, I’m lying. So many amazing things happened because I spent an entire week with my bloods and we crack each other up. And since I’m (RHYME ALERT) no longer in their faces on a daily basis they appreciate my humor (humour) a lot more than they used which is good for the old confidence.

But two things stood out as Blah-g-worthy.

One is this picture I found. It’s my family the day I graduated Emerson College. Em er some serious glares from the flash but try to look past that.

At the time I had no idea I’d be a writer. No idea printed photographs …

Guest Post on the Office Elf Blog

August 21, 2013 | 8 Comments

Hi all,

Lisi is out of town vacationing in the motherland, aka Canada, and will be back next week to fill you in on her travels and progress with Pretenders book 2. For now, hop over to the Office Elf blog for my summer sickness survival guide. Click any of the vacationers wearing germ masks below to get redirected to the post.

Alisha…

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